Diver

That horizon we chased is drifting further away And the blue of the sky is too bright to believe with this heartache Stuck in a crowd where everybody around is frozen in place And it's getting harder to breathe, but I'm diving in anyway Maybe I'd be better off letting it go And cut away this pain that is suffocating But I know that it won't really heal me the way that I want Even if everybody wants to be my enemy I know that I've still got a light shining on me Though I've sunk so far beyond its reach It is so painful here And I'm running out of air Even though my lungs keep growing tighter I keep descending like a deep sea diver I just wanna clarify If I'm even still alive Until my feet touch the ocean floor I'll keep holding my breath Then I'll breathe again There's a map in my mind, keeps me tossing and turning at night And when I'm all alone it will show me all the things I will never find Thought I was strong, but once again I was wrong to believe that I might One day be stronger than you, or at least put up a fight Like a swan far from home, it takes flight Floating away in the starry night sky Through the waves made of pain it slowly started to rain But I can never play believe and be someone I'm not Stars are always stars but it's something I've always fought How far can I go until I'm caught? Weighed down by the anchor of shame and despair I tried to call out for help — tried to send up a prayer Through the waves made of pain it slowly started to rain It is so painful here And I'm running out of air Even though my lungs keep growing tighter I keep descending like a deep sea diver I just wanna clarify If I'm even still alive Until my feet touch the ocean floor I'll keep holding my breath But I can finally breathe again Now that I've seen what lies in the light I will never forget I'll never drown again