Darkroom

So tell me what it is that you want, that-, that you don't have Contemplating everything I'm questioning who I am and these walls I'm living in I might scream but they won't hear this hurricane That's some love I mix with pain That's some shit won't be the same That's some rain that comforts me on these walks I take outside the frame Yeah, yeah I'm so used to the cycle I don't really tell nobody I'm close to the edge and I might fall Running from something years ago I don't even know how to slow down I'm anticipating a crossroads And I'm asking God where to turn now It's three in the morning And I do this every day My thoughts get lost in this dark room 'Til the sunrise washes them all away I heard there's beauty in the struggle I heard it's sweet and subtle Light falls down this tunnel Run until I lose my shadow I may just trip on some faith in here Thought I was running for light But in truth, I was running in fear This was never how it used to be I loved you before I learned to love me I tried to confide in friends but they taught me that that was naive Taught me to cover my sleeves and fall on my knees And to look up in the sky in need Run, run, run I'm trying to find me, yeah Made it to the river edge Trying to find some peace, yeah Watching a black sky Turn into a butterfly Fly, fly, fly away Letting go of yesterday And I ain't never seen it like this Never seen it like this before And God, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure I ain't never seen it like this Never seen it like this before God if I changed my mind, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure We visit in a derelict past Wiping the dust off this glass This mirror shows me at nine years old Looking back at me so hard Where've you been? Why'd you leave me behind? I've been shouting for you all night I've been calling 'til the sunrise washes me from the back of your mind, oh Yeah And I thought you would never come Thought you would never be here Looking in this broken mirror, everything's so clear I didn't think I'd find you either Not sure what I was searching for Wiping the mirror with the tears I've been holding for years Then it turned into a window when we watched it pour When I'm old I wanna be somewhere real You told me when I'm old I wanna be someone real I don't really wanna end up like you (I don't really wanna end up like you) I just wanna find somebody that feels like me Feeling to sail away I'm gon' find me a better place Somewhere they see me before They see my race Somewhere I don't need to hide away These friends aren't friends 'til they shared your hardest days Your hardest time, your coldest place You can come if you want to You can come if you want to We can still be okay (I got nothing but some thoughts on you) Watched it rain (But if I run 'round, take it all on, be a good son) Would it be alright? Would it be alright? Be alright, yeah And lately I don't know what to do I got nothing but some thoughts on you But if I run 'round, take it all on, be a good son Would it be alright? Would it be alright? Would it be alright? Run, run, run Trying to find me, yeah Made it to the river edge Trying to find some peace Watching a black sky Turn into a butterfly Fly, fly, fly away Letting go of yesterday And I ain't never seen it like this Never seen it like this before God, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure I ain't never seen it like this Never seen it like this before God if I changed my mind, if I changed my mind, I would never see this I'm sure "So tell me what it is that you want, that-, that you don't have" "Well I li-, I'd like to be, I'd like to be more consistently here, you know? I'd like to really get on a... I'd like to just, and-, and I know it's not probably ever, maybe, possible but Because it's so improbable, and so impossible, I'd just like to really see how long I could last as being really here, you know? Really in it, really alive in the moment, you know?"