Resilence

I've been so adamant Expending my energy trying to fix all the damages Life is a mess, but the true beauty emerges once  you have learned how to manage it One at a time, I've come to terms with the fact that this didn't go as I planned it I have been biding my time, doing the best that I can with what ive been handed Im just a man, tempted by heathens They seem to exploit me and all of my weaknesses I need a reason to seize all these demons they whisper deceptions into my cerebral What's the point of piety without faith? Its nothing more than a clever disguise I Got a habit of claiming the spoils of war and the glory as mine God im in need of provisions so if youre still up there, send me a sign. Stuck in my prison its shifting to counter attempts to escape by my mind When did my courage desert me? This arduous journey's contorting my spine. They say itll pass, this doubt im feeling, distorting my mind Im sorry that I ( could never find the words to say when i needed them most.) (I'll just push you away, won't let you get close.) (Perplexed by this life, Im not so certain it even has meaning.) (All this time i can't believe ive been dreaming) Trying hard not to move backwards Cuz' it's a recipe for a disaster I have been learning from all this experience Maybe someday, I'll have this life mastered Im just a man, sans the facades Mask of obscurity, taking it off I see the person the i used to be, my insecurities, ripping the seams of my heart Maybe in time it'll lessen These burdens subduing me Where is the person I use to be? As I grow older, things I desired in infancy, just doesnt make any sense to me They say that adversity makes you resilient, what's the advantage in losing yourself to make progress? Apathetic machinery, solely dependent on logical context Surrender vitality, all of those fallacies breaking my dermis devoid of a purpose Im lacking the clarity brought by discernment I hope I find purpose I'll never go back Hope is the only emotion thats keeping my soul so intact Got these Infirmities constantly burning me When will I learn to be happy? I can't change the past Held for ransom Breaking the pillars of slavery Akin to sampson Neglecting my stature They didn't warn me of the hardships that come after This is my anthem Yea Trying to kill all my demons, I only ask that you help me If I lay bare all my verities, maybe you'll learn to accept to me I only seek to acheive a feeling of purpose, to realize these dreams, that time will reveal the significance of my emergence, I'm destined to be "I've been gaining the courage to do what makes me happy. I won't conform for the sake of comfort. I won't comply to avoid confict. Change for the better is never acquired through reticence. To my family, my friends, and Samantha. I love you all."