Pat Stay vs. Dunsh Compliment Battle

[Round 1: Dunsh] Yo, I was gonna no show this battle Last night I was talkin' to Rone He said, "You got some shit for Pat?" I said, "To be honest I don't Worst writer's block ever. I'm just not in the zone Worst writer's block ever bro I gotta postpone How could I disrespect my idol? I've been watching the throne Dreaming one day we'd be the next Stockton/Malone From The Elements league to when you bodied Charron Cool white guy general, and I honor the code." Rone was pushy, motherfucker had me hot on the phone I said, "I will not write a diss for Pat. I'm not gonna go." He said, "But I told you. It's a battle but with compliments though." I said, "Well fuck it I could kick that off the top of the dome." So off the head Pat, that is an awesome head tat And if it wasn't for my pesky job I'd also get that I'm thinkin' jet black lettering with your last name on the side So then more than one way I'd have Pat Stay on my mind He's a mad neighborly guy I mean I wake up at 5:00 and he's already waving in the driveway adjacent to mine On a scale of 1 to 5, on a bad day you're a 9 I think you only got braces cause you're that straight of a guy There's a blueprint for this smooth shit and Pat laid the design He got a KOTD fanbase but on SMACK stages he shines He moonwalks with his boots on, I mean you can't hate on the guy The smoothest white guy ever, he does black face and it's fine If you think that's racist you're blind He's just nice like that He's a fan of unity so the black community will let it slide like that Be at a URL event until some guy's like, "Smack, who's the guy with the 'white pride' tat?" And he's like, "That's my guy Pat!" Look he glad right now He about to ask me for a dance right now He wants to give me a bear hug so bad right now {Pat gives Dunsh a bear hug} Yo chill bro, what is in your pants right now? I mean Jesus Christ is that a fuckin' flashlight? Wow! Yo, ever since you put the crack pipe down you've been lookin' cute You went from free basing to free weights and he gettin' pussy too Remember that line you said, "Suge look at me and look at you If I smoke crack that may be something you need to look into." Well I took that shit to heart and I really listened to Pat And I'm still a little bit fat But on the bright side I'm addicted to crack Time [Round 1: Pat Stay] The headline main event Boy they got you in the top this time Look at you go To be honest, I don't know if you qualify You'd usually be the undercard, if you're taking this wrong I apologize It's a compliment Cause in the opening act you know I love me a bottom guy Now let's go Pause Skinny guy dick Seen him in grey sweats and ain't left my mind since The outline thick like a neuroscience assignment I ain't gay But to this day I'm still confused as to why mine flinched Words that are written in terms and conditions Oh how I missed that fine print Pause I first saw it in the men's room I was having a piss The station came galloping in And just the fact that he picked the urinal right next to me when all the other rest were free is what had me convinced of this hammer of his And just the stance he was in Arched back, hands on his hips "How are ya?" He turned so I glanced at it quick I tried to look away but with that gigantic Titanic there was no abandoning ship All aboard! Aye aye captain My submarine is under siege cause Moby Dick here hijacked it And it actually says Dunsh, psst, might need some eye glasses Or maybe it's just hard to see through those long fluttering eye lashes Let's fuckin' go! Yeeeeah, you're a beautiful man Ears are like cute little clams If I had those I'd just walk doin' the Hulk Hogan move with my hand Got a cock you could use as a stand, takes up all the room in your pants It makes dudes wanna move to Japan What can I say? You are a man Listen here ya little hunk I'm about to expose the fuck outta you Ahh, ladies, question When one of your girls meets somebody new What are the two things you ask? "Is he hung and what does he do?" Well ladies do I ever have something for you He is a lawyer, in actual real life "Objection" Man, that must feel nice A lawyer! And packin' a steel pipe! You be the judge I'm sure you'd grant his appeal, right? Come one! Big Dick Lawyer Energy Imagine how hot his roleplay in the bedroom be "So you don't recall handling any large weaponry? Huh Funny. Perhaps this will refresh your memory." I mean, I've heard of a hung jury before but fuck this guy is blessed with everything And the interrogation's over soon as he checks out that monster Once that hammer drops, case closed, no further questions you're on her (your honor) What a fucking first impression when he met with her father "So, what do you do?" Psst Straightens his tie, flexes his collar "I'm a lawyer" "Oh wow" "Yep. Pretty successful law firm We cracked a few decent cases in there. Not sure if you're familiar with Jeffrey Dahmer A couple side gigs here and there, you know Part time medical doctor, professional boxer Special ops, road ranger, [?] bomber, you know. Odd jobs. Hahaha." Rich cackling with her pops Bond forming tighter than his immaculate Windsor knot I can't even tie a tie you probably practiced it with your cock Of course he'd want a lawyer, you'd know exactly what gets her off Who wouldn't? Unless she's gone nuts To miss the chance to get in the pants of fuckin' Elon Tusk But I should probably stop cause they're watchin' the clock This round was supposed to be short but it went as long as your- Pause [Round 2: Dunsh] First of all, you taught me how to tie a tie when I was five So that angle ain't workable And as far as my dick, yeah we were at the same urinal And let's just say, those were fake personals The nerve of you Knowing damn well that compared to yours my dick is stick stickly His shit is thick thick Chris Christy I swear to God y'all ain't seen a hog this pretty since Miss Piggy But if all you brought is that type shit then just accept that you lost Cause these are compliments and when everything you said to me is "pause" Then it's tough to get the message across And you're right, I am a lawyer, but I ain't never been soft And fuck my girl bro I specialize in gettin' you off Go ahead, try and pause me Quiet y'all my idol's talking I am standing right across from Ryan Gosling's giant offspring This guy's been on a growth spurt that shows no sign of stopping I've been watching use as a Hula Hoop any time that he can't find a cock ring I mean the size is shocking Father, actor, scholar, rapper Does it all wearing a blindfold with his eyes closed while walking backwards , I want some answers I mean, I'm insecure as fuck, but for you it's not a factor Cause he'll dance like no one's watching But everyone's watching cause you're an awesome dancer I let my emotions get the best of me Sometimes I feel like you're the host in this Cause you just opened up a cozy bed and breakfast crackin' yolks and shit, jam and toast with it Maybe it's crazy, maybe it's just his openness But what's weird is he laughed until he got to share the leftovers with a homeless kid But whatever you do, never confuse hospitable with weak He cooked me eggs and then he kissed on my cheek You wanna sleep at Pats? Let me tell you guys, the linen's weren't cheap My man ain't skimpin' on the sheets And the last six months of my life have been fucked dawg, but now I'm workin' with Pat I got his autograph and I might turn it into a permanent tat You're a fuckin' slick rick gorgeous, luxurious, snack No homo but you got me feeling curious Pat I ain't wanna get personal witchu, but you turned this to a personal issue So don't be disturbed if you're in the middle of one of your verses I kiss you I love you so much I took your own words and turned 'em against you But in my third it continues I got something that'll perfectly fit you Pause [Round 2: Pat Stay] Be real for one second, whatever I am a father, two beautiful kids, fuckin' adore them I actually wanted another but my girl says we just can't afford it She got her tubes tied so she didn't have to get pregnant and have an abortion If I managed my life like yours did, she'd have more kids than a Mormon True story though See, when I was in school I just ignored it While you was buyin' your books I was buyin' chains and Jordans And raisin' my son, his brain's like a sponge it's so absorbent But I'm afraid I don't have the knowledge to teach him what's most important That one question in life we all have that gets to us all All the famous male statues, why were their dicks always small? Who built them? Maybe it isn't their fault, maybe their chisel's were dull If only you could go back in history and give them your jaw Like oh my God bro You could've designed Apollo with ivory marble Look how defined your jawbone is, this guy's a model Jesus Christ, it turns into a knife every time you swallow Did I just hear a plane crash or did Ivan Drago bite a nacho? You definitely drive a Bronco And that little stubble's great It's five o'clock somewhere...yep, on your handsome fuckin' face! What's his age? As a kid I was in love with trains And a hint for you and your boys later, nothing's changed Yeah, you got that energy I like Go from a gentleman to a rebel and just blend it in so nice So elegant and poetic, if you read the shit you'd think he used a feather when he writes Yet so gangster with such conviction you'd think he sent it in a kite And we know he ain't like that But how he says the shit, no one has questioned it twice This dude is a chameleon, give him a role, he'll play anything you like He just molds into it like, "Bro. Your name's Kevin am I right?" [Dunsh] Uh huh [Pat] I've never met a Kevin who looks more like a Kevin in my life! How's he do it? But your rap name is better Or maybe I'm bias because it starts with my favorite letter Listen, I'm straight as ever I've been trying to make the effort to not look at his bulge but the way that pipe's bursting I can't take the pressure He move like this And for a minute straight it just kept danglin' Could fight a python and strangle it Jada Smith, they'd have an entanglement Will let August bang his bitch Swang on Chris You're listening thinkin', "What do those have to do with his danglin' dick?" They both keep swingin' and swingin' Bro I just wanna take it all in ...the moment, this moment Jesus Christ. You guys are so gay. Seriously I just want to take it all in, cause honestly I'm such a fan bro The only thing better than watching you battle is the thought of you bobbing for apples I know I've talked about his cock to much, I tried to stop it I can't though Do not disturb sign, the way it hangs is off of the handle Now I didn't wanna get personal with you But you made this a personal issue It takes two to tango And that's the dance I plan on working with you I know you'll be fine learning the hip moves, but the twirling's the issue Not that I think you can't do it, it's just every time you turn I will miss you And you talked about my braces, so I gotta think of a bar on the spot Well that should be easy I have braces so you know I'm sharp off the top I got something tucked in my belt, I ain't armed with a Glock I'm hard as a rock Time [Pat talking] Pause you guys. You guys are soooo gay. Oh my God bro [Dunsh talking] Relax. Seriously. It's like every line get taken the wrong fuckin' way [Pat talking] Jesus. It's called lyricism [Rone] Round three it's on Dunsh [Pat talking] You guys are fucked [Round 3: Dunsh] Yo, can I tell you guys a story that I think really demonstrates this man's character, like for real Can I do that? Are y'all with me? Alright check it out My last battle versus Bill I had a panic attack No exaggeration y'all I couldn't actually rap I got cooked to fuckin' shit by half the fans in the chat It was supposed to be a classic man, how tragic is that? I thanked Organik for the look, did a vanishing act I never said what happened next but this is actual fact I walked directly into traffic and laid flat on my back And at that exact moment here comes Pat on my jack I picked it up, and at first I thought I made a mistake Cause he said, "Panic attack huh Dunsh? You didn't say you were gay." Sounds messed up, but he's the reason I can face it today Cause you made me laugh about it, and that made it okay And there's still a lot of shit that I've been going through lately But the fact that you set that time aside to phone me was crazy So all jokes aside bro I wanted you to know that it changed me And I will never in my life forget the moment you saved me ...or the boner it gave me Pat Stay This man can brighten any man's day Whip your ass in basketball then make you pancakes Pat Stay Every single lady's Plan A Y'all heard of a sausage party? All of his parties are clam based Pat Stay, what do y'all figure Pat weigh? The size of two men, his pronouns are he/they Pat Stay Heard you're anti-vax aye? He's like, "This mandate is trash." I said, "You had me at "man-date" Is that gay? And I say this shit just playin' around But he's been treating me like a piece of meat and y'all see how degrading that sounds? Cause to me it's more than just skin deep The way I feel about Stay is profound So I was framing my rounds and picturing us sayin' our vows Bro I fuckin' love you For more than that face and those abs It's in your mind it's in your spine, it's in the way we hold hands You are my everything, you've given me a strength I don't have We have walked through life together and paved our own path And I have heard the disbelievers who say it won't last But they have yet to see our chemistry, the way we both laugh How you provide for me so I could be a stay at home dad A role model, y'all know what I call Stay at home? Dad! You're an inspiring dude, my fuckin' idol my muse You are a shining ray of hope through all the mire and gloom We shared a hotel together, I was tryin' to snooze But couldn't sleep a fuckin' wink because you light up the room And I've been dyin' to say this Bro I'm likin' the braces For a man of our age I think it's kind of courageous And if I was your dentist I'd advise other patients To wear a mask and keep their distance cause your smile is contagious Bro you've been my idol for ages Since you kicked in the door, you've been a savage with the style without no Christian Diors So even if you win this battle I'm still winnin' the war Because I came to see the nicest and I'ma give you the floor [Round 3: Pat Stay] Bro, no, no girls my age give a fuck how big or tough that I am Muscular, tan, tats, gold chains, the most luxury brands You just wear whatever's comfortable because you're a comfortable man And you understand that that all means nothing without a structure or plan And you don't care about money or fame, just you yourself is good enough He chose the dinner with Jay-Z...huh, and stood him up While I'm worried about lookin' tough and havin' some gangster image Your life has so much stability you could've done this in plank position And listen Real shit Think of some of the most dangerous leaders in history, kay? Hitler, Hussain, Kim Jong-Un...littlest frames It's never the big guys like me Movies, cartoons, video games, who's the bosses? Fuckin' Mr. Burns, Dr. Evil, Krang See it's the smart ones who lead the gang Shredder could beat up Krang, he'd be nobody (no body) without him But he needs him cause he's the brains See what I'm sayin'? And that's him You charge him, you'll be okay He's a lawyer, don't need no legal aid He'll beat it either way Don't need to touch you, got dudes who owe him favors that he don't need to pay He'll sic(k) people for free like Dr. Sebi treating AIDS This is the biggest gangster in here He just stores it and hides it A wise man once told me, that the more "normal" that the guy is The more morbid and violent and distorted his mind is He inspired me to become a bouncer Because he said it's dormant (door man) inside him But I like a man with a little edge...ucation Organized, morning time, once he hops out of bed he makes it He has zero unread messages Dudes diligent, dedication A handyman, chefs amazing And you've got to see Kevin baking (Bacon) You are a dime bro Side bowls are fresh thymes pine cones Court rooms, sport suit, fresh hair slicked with a fine comb Suitcase, I don't even know where you buy those My life coach And you're only moving forward like a rhino's Side note There's a little secret that I know You lost to Bill Collector on purpose, don't even lie bro You knew that he needed that money more, he's never once in his life choked But then against Bill he blanked (Billy Blanks), I guess this guy knows Tae Bo C'mon! He stood there with his finger to his ear like that Cause Bill's struggle stories were hard to hear, you were feeling bad The humble man, gave him a 100 grand, how real is that? Deleting your data history, you could've cleared the cash (cache) Just the fact that you even do this shit, while having a career like that That full luscious head of hair you have yet you still wear a hat This shit isn't even fair To just be your reflection and staring back Because the only compliment battle you could lose is a mirror match The nicest And that's you young man