Pat Stay vs. Dunsh Compliment Battle

[Round 1: Dunsh]

Yo, I was gonna no show this battle

Last night I was talkin' to Rone

He said, "You got some shit for Pat?"

I said, "To be honest I don't

Worst writer's block ever. I'm just not in the zone

Worst writer's block ever bro I gotta postpone

How could I disrespect my idol? I've been watching the throne

Dreaming one day we'd be the next Stockton/Malone

From The Elements league to when you bodied Charron

Cool white guy general, and I honor the code."

Rone was pushy, motherfucker had me hot on the phone

I said, "I will not write a diss for Pat. I'm not gonna go."

He said, "But I told you. It's a battle but with compliments though."

I said, "Well fuck it I could kick that off the top of the dome."

So off the head Pat, that is an awesome head tat

And if it wasn't for my pesky job I'd also get that

I'm thinkin' jet black lettering with your last name on the side

So then more than one way I'd have Pat Stay on my mind

He's a mad neighborly guy

I mean I wake up at 5:00 and he's already waving in the driveway adjacent to mine

On a scale of 1 to 5, on a bad day you're a 9

I think you only got braces cause you're that straight of a guy

There's a blueprint for this smooth shit and Pat laid the design

He got a KOTD fanbase but on SMACK stages he shines

He moonwalks with his boots on, I mean you can't hate on the guy

The smoothest white guy ever, he does black face and it's fine

If you think that's racist you're blind

He's just nice like that

He's a fan of unity so the black community will let it slide like that

Be at a URL event until some guy's like, "Smack, who's the guy with the 'white pride' tat?"

And he's like, "That's my guy Pat!"

Look he glad right now

He about to ask me for a dance right now

He wants to give me a bear hug so bad right now

{Pat gives Dunsh a bear hug}

Yo chill bro, what is in your pants right now?

I mean Jesus Christ is that a fuckin' flashlight? Wow!

Yo, ever since you put the crack pipe down you've been lookin' cute

You went from free basing to free weights and he gettin' pussy too

Remember that line you said, "Suge look at me and look at you

If I smoke crack that may be something you need to look into."

Well I took that shit to heart and I really listened to Pat

And I'm still a little bit fat

But on the bright side I'm addicted to crack

Time

[Round 1: Pat Stay]

The headline main event

Boy they got you in the top this time

Look at you go

To be honest, I don't know if you qualify

You'd usually be the undercard, if you're taking this wrong I apologize

It's a compliment

Cause in the opening act you know I love me a bottom guy

Now let's go

Pause

Skinny guy dick

Seen him in grey sweats and ain't left my mind since

The outline thick like a neuroscience assignment

I ain't gay

But to this day I'm still confused as to why mine flinched

Words that are written in terms and conditions

Oh how I missed that fine print

Pause

I first saw it in the men's room I was having a piss

The station came galloping in

And just the fact that he picked the urinal right next to me when all the other rest were free is what had me convinced of this hammer of his

And just the stance he was in

Arched back, hands on his hips

"How are ya?"

He turned so I glanced at it quick

I tried to look away but with that gigantic Titanic there was no abandoning ship

All aboard!

Aye aye captain

My submarine is under siege cause Moby Dick here hijacked it

And it actually says Dunsh, psst, might need some eye glasses

Or maybe it's just hard to see through those long fluttering eye lashes

Let's fuckin' go!

Yeeeeah, you're a beautiful man

Ears are like cute little clams

If I had those I'd just walk doin' the Hulk Hogan move with my hand

Got a cock you could use as a stand, takes up all the room in your pants

It makes dudes wanna move to Japan

What can I say? You are a man

Listen here ya little hunk

I'm about to expose the fuck outta you

Ahh, ladies, question

When one of your girls meets somebody new

What are the two things you ask?

"Is he hung and what does he do?"

Well ladies do I ever have something for you

He is a lawyer, in actual real life

"Objection"

Man, that must feel nice

A lawyer! And packin' a steel pipe!

You be the judge I'm sure you'd grant his appeal, right?

Come one!

Big Dick Lawyer Energy

Imagine how hot his roleplay in the bedroom be

"So you don't recall handling any large weaponry? Huh

Funny. Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

I mean, I've heard of a hung jury before but fuck this guy is blessed with everything

And the interrogation's over soon as he checks out that monster

Once that hammer drops, case closed, no further questions you're on her (your honor)

What a fucking first impression when he met with her father

"So, what do you do?"

Psst

Straightens his tie, flexes his collar

"I'm a lawyer"

"Oh wow"

"Yep. Pretty successful law firm

We cracked a few decent cases in there. Not sure if you're familiar with Jeffrey Dahmer

A couple side gigs here and there, you know

Part time medical doctor, professional boxer

Special ops, road ranger, [?] bomber, you know. Odd jobs. Hahaha."

Rich cackling with her pops

Bond forming tighter than his immaculate Windsor knot

I can't even tie a tie you probably practiced it with your cock

Of course he'd want a lawyer, you'd know exactly what gets her off

Who wouldn't?

Unless she's gone nuts

To miss the chance to get in the pants of fuckin' Elon Tusk

But I should probably stop cause they're watchin' the clock

This round was supposed to be short but it went as long as your-

Pause

[Round 2: Dunsh]

First of all, you taught me how to tie a tie when I was five

So that angle ain't workable

And as far as my dick, yeah we were at the same urinal

And let's just say, those were fake personals

The nerve of you

Knowing damn well that compared to yours my dick is stick stickly

His shit is thick thick Chris Christy

I swear to God y'all ain't seen a hog this pretty since Miss Piggy

But if all you brought is that type shit then just accept that you lost

Cause these are compliments and when everything you said to me is "pause"

Then it's tough to get the message across

And you're right, I am a lawyer, but I ain't never been soft

And fuck my girl bro I specialize in gettin' you off

Go ahead, try and pause me

Quiet y'all my idol's talking

I am standing right across from Ryan Gosling's giant offspring

This guy's been on a growth spurt that shows no sign of stopping

I've been watching use as a Hula Hoop any time that he can't find a cock ring

I mean the size is shocking

Father, actor, scholar, rapper

Does it all wearing a blindfold with his eyes closed while walking backwards , I want some answers

I mean, I'm insecure as fuck, but for you it's not a factor

Cause he'll dance like no one's watching

But everyone's watching cause you're an awesome dancer

I let my emotions get the best of me

Sometimes I feel like you're the host in this

Cause you just opened up a cozy bed and breakfast crackin' yolks and shit, jam and toast with it

Maybe it's crazy, maybe it's just his openness

But what's weird is he laughed until he got to share the leftovers with a homeless kid

But whatever you do, never confuse hospitable with weak

He cooked me eggs and then he kissed on my cheek

You wanna sleep at Pats? Let me tell you guys, the linen's weren't cheap

My man ain't skimpin' on the sheets

And the last six months of my life have been fucked dawg, but now I'm workin' with Pat

I got his autograph and I might turn it into a permanent tat

You're a fuckin' slick rick gorgeous, luxurious, snack

No homo but you got me feeling curious Pat

I ain't wanna get personal witchu, but you turned this to a personal issue

So don't be disturbed if you're in the middle of one of your verses I kiss you

I love you so much I took your own words and turned 'em against you

But in my third it continues

I got something that'll perfectly fit you

Pause

[Round 2: Pat Stay]

Be real for one second, whatever

I am a father, two beautiful kids, fuckin' adore them

I actually wanted another but my girl says we just can't afford it

She got her tubes tied so she didn't have to get pregnant and have an abortion

If I managed my life like yours did, she'd have more kids than a Mormon

True story though

See, when I was in school I just ignored it

While you was buyin' your books I was buyin' chains and Jordans

And raisin' my son, his brain's like a sponge it's so absorbent

But I'm afraid I don't have the knowledge to teach him what's most important

That one question in life we all have that gets to us all

All the famous male statues, why were their dicks always small?

Who built them? Maybe it isn't their fault, maybe their chisel's were dull

If only you could go back in history and give them your jaw

Like oh my God bro

You could've designed Apollo with ivory marble

Look how defined your jawbone is, this guy's a model

Jesus Christ, it turns into a knife every time you swallow

Did I just hear a plane crash or did Ivan Drago bite a nacho?

You definitely drive a Bronco

And that little stubble's great

It's five o'clock somewhere...yep, on your handsome fuckin' face!

What's his age?

As a kid I was in love with trains

And a hint for you and your boys later, nothing's changed

Yeah, you got that energy I like

Go from a gentleman to a rebel and just blend it in so nice

So elegant and poetic, if you read the shit you'd think he used a feather when he writes

Yet so gangster with such conviction you'd think he sent it in a kite

And we know he ain't like that

But how he says the shit, no one has questioned it twice

This dude is a chameleon, give him a role, he'll play anything you like

He just molds into it like, "Bro. Your name's Kevin am I right?"

[Dunsh] Uh huh

[Pat]

I've never met a Kevin who looks more like a Kevin in my life!

How's he do it?

But your rap name is better

Or maybe I'm bias because it starts with my favorite letter

Listen, I'm straight as ever

I've been trying to make the effort to not look at his bulge but the way that pipe's bursting I can't take the pressure

He move like this

And for a minute straight it just kept danglin'

Could fight a python and strangle it

Jada Smith, they'd have an entanglement

Will let August bang his bitch

Swang on Chris

You're listening thinkin', "What do those have to do with his danglin' dick?"

They both keep swingin' and swingin'

Bro I just wanna take it all in

...the moment, this moment

Jesus Christ. You guys are so gay. Seriously

I just want to take it all in, cause honestly I'm such a fan bro

The only thing better than watching you battle is the thought of you bobbing for apples

I know I've talked about his cock to much, I tried to stop it I can't though

Do not disturb sign, the way it hangs is off of the handle

Now I didn't wanna get personal with you

But you made this a personal issue

It takes two to tango

And that's the dance I plan on working with you

I know you'll be fine learning the hip moves, but the twirling's the issue

Not that I think you can't do it, it's just every time you turn I will miss you

And you talked about my braces, so I gotta think of a bar on the spot

Well that should be easy

I have braces so you know I'm sharp off the top

I got something tucked in my belt, I ain't armed with a Glock I'm hard as a rock

Time

[Pat talking] Pause you guys. You guys are soooo gay. Oh my God bro

[Dunsh talking] Relax. Seriously. It's like every line get taken the wrong fuckin' way

[Pat talking] Jesus. It's called lyricism

[Rone] Round three it's on Dunsh

[Pat talking] You guys are fucked

[Round 3: Dunsh]

Yo, can I tell you guys a story that I think really demonstrates this man's character, like for real

Can I do that? Are y'all with me?

Alright check it out

My last battle versus Bill I had a panic attack

No exaggeration y'all I couldn't actually rap

I got cooked to fuckin' shit by half the fans in the chat

It was supposed to be a classic man, how tragic is that?

I thanked Organik for the look, did a vanishing act

I never said what happened next but this is actual fact

I walked directly into traffic and laid flat on my back

And at that exact moment here comes Pat on my jack

I picked it up, and at first I thought I made a mistake

Cause he said, "Panic attack huh Dunsh? You didn't say you were gay."

Sounds messed up, but he's the reason I can face it today

Cause you made me laugh about it, and that made it okay

And there's still a lot of shit that I've been going through lately

But the fact that you set that time aside to phone me was crazy

So all jokes aside bro I wanted you to know that it changed me

And I will never in my life forget the moment you saved me

...or the boner it gave me

Pat Stay

This man can brighten any man's day

Whip your ass in basketball then make you pancakes

Pat Stay

Every single lady's Plan A

Y'all heard of a sausage party? All of his parties are clam based

Pat Stay, what do y'all figure Pat weigh?

The size of two men, his pronouns are he/they

Pat Stay

Heard you're anti-vax aye?

He's like, "This mandate is trash."

I said, "You had me at "man-date"

Is that gay?

And I say this shit just playin' around

But he's been treating me like a piece of meat and y'all see how degrading that sounds?

Cause to me it's more than just skin deep

The way I feel about Stay is profound

So I was framing my rounds and picturing us sayin' our vows

Bro I fuckin' love you

For more than that face and those abs

It's in your mind it's in your spine, it's in the way we hold hands

You are my everything, you've given me a strength I don't have

We have walked through life together and paved our own path

And I have heard the disbelievers who say it won't last

But they have yet to see our chemistry, the way we both laugh

How you provide for me so I could be a stay at home dad

A role model, y'all know what I call Stay at home? Dad!

You're an inspiring dude, my fuckin' idol my muse

You are a shining ray of hope through all the mire and gloom

We shared a hotel together, I was tryin' to snooze

But couldn't sleep a fuckin' wink because you light up the room

And I've been dyin' to say this

Bro I'm likin' the braces

For a man of our age I think it's kind of courageous

And if I was your dentist I'd advise other patients

To wear a mask and keep their distance cause your smile is contagious

Bro you've been my idol for ages

Since you kicked in the door, you've been a savage with the style without no Christian Diors

So even if you win this battle I'm still winnin' the war

Because I came to see the nicest and I'ma give you the floor

[Round 3: Pat Stay]

Bro, no, no girls my age give a fuck how big or tough that I am

Muscular, tan, tats, gold chains, the most luxury brands

You just wear whatever's comfortable because you're a comfortable man

And you understand that that all means nothing without a structure or plan

And you don't care about money or fame, just you yourself is good enough

He chose the dinner with Jay-Z...huh, and stood him up

While I'm worried about lookin' tough and havin' some gangster image

Your life has so much stability you could've done this in plank position

And listen

Real shit

Think of some of the most dangerous leaders in history, kay?

Hitler, Hussain, Kim Jong-Un...littlest frames

It's never the big guys like me

Movies, cartoons, video games, who's the bosses?

Fuckin' Mr. Burns, Dr. Evil, Krang

See it's the smart ones who lead the gang

Shredder could beat up Krang, he'd be nobody (no body) without him

But he needs him cause he's the brains

See what I'm sayin'?

And that's him

You charge him, you'll be okay

He's a lawyer, don't need no legal aid

He'll beat it either way

Don't need to touch you, got dudes who owe him favors that he don't need to pay

He'll sic(k) people for free like Dr. Sebi treating AIDS

This is the biggest gangster in here

He just stores it and hides it

A wise man once told me, that the more "normal" that the guy is

The more morbid and violent and distorted his mind is

He inspired me to become a bouncer

Because he said it's dormant (door man) inside him

But I like a man with a little edge...ucation

Organized, morning time, once he hops out of bed he makes it

He has zero unread messages

Dudes diligent, dedication

A handyman, chefs amazing

And you've got to see Kevin baking (Bacon)

You are a dime bro

Side bowls are fresh thymes pine cones

Court rooms, sport suit, fresh hair slicked with a fine comb

Suitcase, I don't even know where you buy those

My life coach

And you're only moving forward like a rhino's

Side note

There's a little secret that I know

You lost to Bill Collector on purpose, don't even lie bro

You knew that he needed that money more, he's never once in his life choked

But then against Bill he blanked (Billy Blanks), I guess this guy knows Tae Bo

C'mon!

He stood there with his finger to his ear like that

Cause Bill's struggle stories were hard to hear, you were feeling bad

The humble man, gave him a 100 grand, how real is that?

Deleting your data history, you could've cleared the cash (cache)

Just the fact that you even do this shit, while having a career like that

That full luscious head of hair you have yet you still wear a hat

This shit isn't even fair

To just be your reflection and staring back

Because the only compliment battle you could lose is a mirror match

The nicest

And that's you young man