in the new future
courts of law go super fast
there's no jury, just a judge
gotta win in three days max
my name is phoenix wright
and im an ace attorney
so grab a seat, groove to the beat,
and join me on my journey
i live in california
and by that i mean japan
got a suit of blue, a big red tie and hair like gemini man
it's a comedy of errors
with the violence of macbeth
so cute and charming
"murder"
zany, wacky, jokey
"death"
yeah, i meet all kinds of weirdos
on my justice-seeking quest
the dudes are total dicks
and the ladies have big breasts
come on, y'all!
dicks
boobies
dicks
boobies
dicks
boobies
boobies
dicks
dicks
boobies
dicks
boobies
dicks
boobies
boobies
dicks
(boobies?)
i'm rated t for teen
and even one time rated m
but i've got pop culture chops
and each reference is a gem
if you have a big "objection!"
to where i'm coming from,
you can "take that!", "hold it!"
and shove it up your bum.
my name is phoenix wright
i'm a semi-decent lawyer
with the help of magic stones
and my hot/dead employer
so court is now in session
judge santa claus presiding
if a withness has a secret
i will find out what they're hiding
pressing and presenting
i will find a resolution
fighting liars on the stand
and the kinky prosecution
my client isn't guilty
which i'll prove with my defense, so now
all i have to do is choose the perfect evidence
here we go!
"objection" nope
"objection" nope
"objection" nope
guilty!
ah!
"objection" nope
"objection" nope
take that
not guilty!
...obviously.
Lyrics provided by LRCLIB
