Goodbye

I wanna say you're a real good guy But we both know that would be a lie It's been a nightmare being your friend So it's time for this charade to end I can't say goodbye 'Cause you might grind me down into meat pie I'll tell the school that you've got avian flu So it'll be their job to get rid of you I hope they put you into quarantine Or lock you up until you turn eighteen So maybe then I'll never have to fear That you might suddenly bite off my ear Please don't bite off my ear! I can't say goodbye My face would be too mangled to identify If I could get your house repossessed You'll be forced to relocate to your gran's in the Northwest I could get you arrested for stealing a car I could get you a job as a miner I could ship you in a crate to Qatar Or sell you as kebab to a dirty diner It's not real meat anyway I could get your folks to forget you on the freeway Sell you to a freak show on its way to Uruguay I could get you stuck on a fairground ride, (forever) Send you to a wedding in Somewhere-stan with you as the bride I can't say goodbye But it's no use trying to deny That I don't wanna be friends with you So do whatever you have to do...