[Verse 1]
First drug was Flintstones kids vitamins
I used to eat a bottle if my mom would leave a bottle out
She found it out and I was banned from the cabinet
Never had a chance to enhance but I imagined it
Went from vitamins to mom’s mental health pills
She felt ill, and I got it ‘cause it felt real
Wanted to know why my mother was trippin’
A fatherless daughter that’s stuck in a mother’s position, publicly trippin’
Second grade, didn’t fuck with niggas
They laughed when my mother came to pick me up in slippers
Raggy sweatshirt, funky sweatpants
What made it worse is when she saw me she said, “lets dance”
Diagnosed as a schizophrenic
She was lost in hell, I just kissed up in it
But I was an ugly nerd obsessed with a lovely bird
And a brain plagued with muddy words
[Spoken Word]
You know I love my mother
I just, never got a chance to express how that shit felt
You know? Like, in that time period
Ma I love you, I precede your strength, On everything I love, thank you
[Verse 2]
Smoked blunts like the weed wasn’t rolled in it
Couldn’t roll but my bowl overflowed with it
I had no business doing dro, then it got too beautiful
Started using blow, if you ain’t know, I gotta home in a UFO
If you were close to me, you could go with me
But if not, you move to slow, back to the matter baby
I never thought that I could lose control
Until I crashed when my stupid nose started leaking fluid
Stupid to assume that blow was cruise control
Fuck it, I ain’t got no use for a soul
‘Cause I don’t walk, I float, so
My sole purpose is to let my soul reach the sol
S-O-L, the sun, believe the UV can solve anything, like VE
It’s after 6 in the winter
Darkness, passion in mid December
Bitch remember
[Spoken Word]
I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean to call you a bitch, you know
Sometimes I just zone out, the voices, too many people
[Verse 3]
They say people lead you to the needle
And since I’m your favorite drug, do you believe that people are evil?
So what do we do? My phantom of the heart strings
Who be standing in the dark with a man that isn’t all me
It should be me or the best car currency could buy in Dubai, but certainly a ride
Something that rides, perfectly on life’s course
This road can make a nigga question himself, like a white corpse
It’s black and white, got guys watching crimes more
‘cause it’s time for minds to soar like before
Your wings might be sore but life is four times more
When you spend you life’s height tryna find your spinal cord
Hide from what? pick a vice live your life, get it right
Can’t live it twice unless you live a lie
If so, nigga die, no one listens to you
Very few can exist in the truth, here’s proof
Charles Hamilton
[Spoken Word Outro]
Sometimes I feel like I gotta die, and come back to life
Just to prove
