Who Am I Kidding?

SAM: Havana! Havana! Havana freakin' Cuba! The kid is heading for a crash He'll run into Castelli there They'll shoot him in the belly there They'll cut him up and stuff him in the trash! Holy cow Havana! Havana I'm going to Havana! What else am I supposed to do? I need a gun I need a pill I need a map I need a will I'll save his neck and Lola's too! Who am I kidding? I'm no hero I'm just a average S.O.B. this is the kind of job for someone muscle Bound and kind of witless and besides It scares me shitless! who am I kidding? I'm no hero DOORMAN: He's no hero SAM: I ain't no Tarzan in a tree DOORMAN: We'll drink to that SAM: This ain't the kind of job for some old fart like me GLADYS: Castelli! Castelli! You gotta stop Castelli! The kid don't know him like we do before He finished wit'cha well you'll never know What hit'cha and it ain't a pretty pit'cha I tell you! SAM: Alright,alright, I'm going! I'm going that settles it, I'm going! I'll teach you not to mess with me! I'll give him this! GLADYS: You'll give him that! SAM: I'll beat him up GLADYS: You'll knock him flat BOTH: Just like a kid of twenty-three SAM: Who am I kidding? I'm no youngster GLADYS: You're only mature like an old cheese SAM: It takes me hours just to pee GLADYS: You peed enough already SAM: This ain't the kind of job. For some old poop like me GLADYS: This is exactly the job for someone Oh...Sam ALL (BUT SAM): Looks like we got ourselves a hero SAM: I'm no hero ALL: Sammy, we know that. You'll come through SAM: I'm through already GLADYS: You're just startin', Sammy ALL: This is exactly the job for someone smart like you SAM: But I got ulcers ALL: And with heart like you SAM: And I got hemorrhoids ALL: A sweet old fart like you