Monarch: That fucker is back!
SharkYu: Yeah, I thought he was gone for good too.
Monarch: It's been seven years!
SharkYu: You still pissed he almost beat you that time?
Monarch: Uh, fuck you!
SharkYu: Just saying.
Monarch: Things have changed a lot since he’s left town.
SharkYu: That's for sure.
Monarch: I got to send a message of who's really in charge of things now.
(SharkYu chuckles)
Monarch: Welcome home
I'm gonna make you wish
That you'd stayed gone
Say hello
To a new status quo
Everyone knows that there's a brand new dawn
Turn the TV on!
Director: Camera, speeds. Rolling in 3, 2...
(Welcome to the show)
Monarch: Top of the hour and we're discussing a certain tech support
Who has been spotted cavorting around town (Welcome to the show)
After a seven year absence
Did anybody miss him? (Welcome to the show)
Did anybody notice?
More on tonight's program!
So, the Cyborg Seiyu is back in town
Why's he hangin' around?
What does that mean for your family?
Well handily, I've got good news
He's a loser, and a fossil
And, I don't mean to sound hostile
But the Cyborg is a coward!
You can take that as gospel
Pulling my viewers? Impossible!
I'm visual, he's barely audible
Stop giving him the time of day
Don't listen to a word he'd say
I hope he had a nice vacay
But he should've stayed away!
While he hid in radio
We pivoted to video
Now his medium is getting bloody rare!
Hell's been better since he split
Where's he been?
Who gives a shit?!
CyYu: Salutations! Good to be back on the air
Yes, I know it's been a while since someone with style treated Hell to a broadcast
Lurkers rejoice!
(Monarch: What a dated voice!)
Instead of a clout-chasing mediocre video podcast
(Monarch: Come on!)
Is Monarch insecure, pursuing allure?
Flitting between this fad and that
Is nothing working?
(Monarch: Ignore his chirping!)
Every day, she's got a new format
Monarch: You're looking at the future!
He's the shit that comes before that!
CyYu: Is Monarch as strong as she purports?
Or is it based on her support?
She'd be powerless without her following~
Monarch: Oh, please!
CyYu: And here's the sugar on the cream
She asked me to fix her stream!
(Monarch: Hold on!)
I said no, and now she's pissy, that's the tea!
Monarch: (glitches) You old-timey prick
I'll show you suf-ffering!
CyYu: Uh oh, the Siren is scuffening
Monarch: (glitches) I'll destroy yoo-o-u-u, you little—!
CyYu: I'm afraid you've lost your signal
Let's begin...
I'm gonna make you wish
That I'd stayed gone
Tune on in
When I'm done
Your status quo
Will know its race is run
Oh, this will be fun! (laughs)
Monarch: Fuuuuuck!
