Regarding Cricket

Regarding cricket The object is not wickets It's about who can bring the biggest naval frigate And although our military has recently diminished significantly, we Pommies Will arrive on your shores with the force of a tsunami So run back to your mommy Who needs the atomic bomb when you've got the Barmy Army? New age English Tommies We're a larger imposing threat than that of the Commies In the 1950s We've beaten the West Indians, Zimbabweans, Namibians, South Africans, Jamaicans and Sri Lankans and the Pakistanis Who were particularly shoddy We broke their will like a faulty latex rubber johnny So I don't mean to come across as snobby But an Aussie isn't something that particularly bothers me I'm not a bigot But regarding cricket I don't need a ticket I stay comfy in my armchair Hidden away like Monty Panesar's hair Panesar Panesar Pane Panesar Panesar Panesar Panesar Pane Panesar Regarding cricket Our odds of winning are shorter than a midget The sum of our runs will come to triple digits And once we've begun, we won't succumb, we won't relinquish Til we've ripped this wretched district Into bits quick, it's horrific The skill exhibited will kill your spirit quick Until it is the integrity of a soaked rich tea biscuit Once I've dipped it In my tea Oh, and by the way, I'm also an MC Ripping the track, taking your ball, never giving it back One of the best leg spinners to bat in the entire history of rap I display a way with words that's patently absurd I've stayed at the top of my game far longer than Dickie Bird, observe: I was in Australia on the day the bails were burned And ever since I've yearned for the return of that little urn It's a longing, an urge, the wanting of birds and bonking Disperses into insignificance compared to that one thing Now allow me to tell you something that I've heard Ricky Ponting's skills are somewhat wanting in that regard Regard regard, regard regarding cricket Certain players are depraved and thus they behave in ways illicit If I drop my trousers and expose my rump, will you kiss it? For luck I said if I pull my trousers down and present you my rump, will you kiss it On the off stump? Will you kiss it?