My 19th Birthday

169 I spent my 19th birthday in the hospital With my brother and my mum And I know it sounds dumb but I felt like I lost it all The pain's compulsory, suffering's optional Takeshi's castle, my life's got obstacles I'm still dealing with a whole load of stress I see my older brother so close to the edge And that there put a hole in my chest And then they tell you home's where the heart is But I got a hole where my heart is Because I let a hoe where my heart is Never again, I had to tell her that we're better as friends I never messaged again Every message I send, ends up in a groupchat 'Cause girls go and tell all their friends That's one of many reasons why I ain't sending DMs Look, I'm gonna keep this cake and I'm gonna eat this cake That's why I'm living three lives I'm in GTA I'm in Los Angeles driving a Mercedes and it's funny because honestly I didn't think I'd see LA Surprise birthday party I didn't see this cake, coming I need this money like its EMA You gotta separate the rats from the G's if you can't handle cheese How the hell you gonna be a great I need a blazing inferno for my enemies Behind my back I know that everybody sends for me And I'd respond but I don't even have the time I mean, asking Avelino couldn't help me find the energy I don't think my ends want the best for me That's why the question me, fake G checking me Fuck the road but if anybody's testing me It's one step away like a 5-a-side penalty Every Santander Nationwide remembers me Right pocket full of cards, I'm a referee Ain't it funny how this money that I'm getting came from fucking PA's like I'm sleeping with a secretary Secondly, your girlfriend's obsessed with me But that's a story for another day and this is why love is fucked 'Cause you went and put your trust in her and then she sent and sent me nudes I said "Nuh-uh-uh, cover up" I aired it, certain girls I can't respect We're all nothing to someone, and that you can't forget So just remember when the girl's playing hard to get There's probably another person that she's trying hard to get And there's probably a girl in your phone right now that you hardly text That's looking for love But everybody wants what they can't touch, so If you, touch my money you can see what I'm about You can ask your little sister I will be inside your house Eating from your fridge, feet up on your couch Tell your little brother "Butter me a sandwich, spread in evenly amounts" You think I'm playing any games? Why do you think I talk about cars, women and chains On half of the songs I make, materialistic aims Make me feel a way when I want it When I got it, it don't ever feel the same We got different types of problems I'm getting corporate tax on this cash that I'm making And at the same time I need to vanquish my paigons If you think it's dead you're mistaken I'm hot headed and dangerous And still living in this matrix All I wanna do is make my loved ones proud In this year alone we made three hundred thousand But my mum won't smile becuase her son's on trial We've got different types of problems What do you know about living in a shadow Where every single thing that you can do is being tainted 'Cause your brother's in the station and he's ill to the bone 12 or 13 when I turned into an adult All them kids my age were going TeenFest When I was getting searched by a golden retriever in a Cat. A prison while I'm standing on an arrow We used to have cards and now we're playing with swords My G went from Blackjack to a black Jack Sparrow I know so many man who got a case on their head that would kill to come home But there chances are narrow in this world that we live in Nobody listens, we do have thoughts But nobody's thinking and I get it 'Cause none of us are tyna play the victim Any disrespect then retaliation, instant I know a lot of man have been dodging karma And they think it's all laughter 'till the bitch comes to kiss them You know the difference between life and death is one bad decision, 3 or 4 inches So many man my age have got P.T.S.D and I don't think that it's hit them If you envision, the way that we're living The things that we had seen, situations that we'd been in You would understand why I don't wanna talk about my life in every song I've ever written I really wanna help, but it's out of my control and jurisdiction 'Cause a lot of road yutes have got a sickness, mentally Like, look My mummy always used to tell me this "David, listen when your older's speaking" I know man that listened to their olders speaking And now they're all life'd off and they don't know the reason In a weird way summer is the coldest season You'll get killed at a party for the smallest reason One day you're chilling in secondary Next day your right hand's a memory So when I say that I'm alone, do you know the feeling? When I say the game's over, do you know the meaning? I mean that I don't have the time for this I need a girl but same time there's no time for them I got people inside and I don't write to them It's like I don't feel pain no more I can't do journeys on a train no more Can't shed a tear writing on a page no more I don't wanna play games no more I don't want my friends on a case no more And trust me, I don't want a war on the ends But it's like you wanna start it so say no more I'm too big for this nonsense, I don't need problems Meetings, 1.5 milli ain't an option I don't need a deal or an option In my own neighbourhood Me, Jack, Benny in the office I don't need excel, Sony, drama Our team's faster, street Sam Chara I got a lot of love for everyone that checks for me And a lot of love for certain girls sexually Texting me, saying that she slept on me And definitely wishes that she slept with me Look On another note I wanna say thanks to Cal One of my closest from young and we're still at it now I remember when we learnt to play piano Just to make each other jealous, who'd've thought that we would practice now Your talent's been standing out Be proud of your dream, you should stand and shout I remember last year you never had a clue And this year you went and did "Attitude" Speaking of attitude, it's only right I say sorry for my attitude And I ain't never mad at you Tyrell, Nanon, Frasier especially I got a lot of things I'm dealing with mentally I feel down a lot and I ain't got the energy I need all of your help to get the best from me There's way too much to do, I ain't getting sleep And last time I got a rest they arrested me Tell me I treatment for a video I didn't make myself from scratch Every lyric, every melody Every fucking beat Every little detail in the artwork and video Everything is me A wonderful team and a God that I serve My friends and my mum, my brothers and my girl I don't want short-term success or a banger Man are signing to a sentence, getting lost in the words And it's fine if you sign man it's each to their own But these clones need to know that I'm different from the world Don't compare me to them, they couldn't beat me at my worst It don't matter if I'm rapping or I'm singing on the verse Look People don't get that I'm serious I don't wanna play games no more And I don't wanna talk to these girls no more I can't fuck a girl that in it for the fame no more And man can't talk on my name no more I give it 5 or 10 minutes 'till your main ting talks She's telling me that they don't talk no more but I'm pretty sure that his wifey knows more No more, no I don't wanna play no more No talks if it isn't money made no more No more, no I don't wanna play no more And I don't wanna see my girl no more 'Cause I don't really wanna see her hurt no more My mum telling me that she's gotta stop working and I'm telling mummy you ain't gotta work no more No more, mummy you ain't gotta hurt no more You ain't gotta cry in your shirt no more Mummy you ain't gotta wake up for work in the freezing cold in the middle of the night for a cheque no more Mummy you ain't gotta cry no more You ain't gotta stress in the night no more And I ain't gotta say no more We ain't playing games no more