My 27th Birthday

White fish on the coast of the Caribbean, my life is a film Hero and villain, I'm playin' both in the script Worthy of Spielberg or Christopher Nolan readin' The constant overachievin', I know I ain't as rich as them people with old money, but I didn't know money They mock me online for speakin' up on all of our issues And bein' vocal, the shit that I see on socials, but How can I stay silent when, when I'm out in Barbados, white people mistreatin' locals The villa in Jamaica, but it's owned by the Chinese Head to the right bеach and they're chargin' us five еach They say the Caribbean paradise, like, why leave? But how can I be silent when there's blood on the pine trees? Most of us would sacrifice our soul for the right fees Before I find love, I'm just prayin' I find peace Before I find love, I'm just prayin' I find peace You know what I believe, I don't know if I handled it well It's fuck Coca-Cola, did I stop drinkin' Fanta as well? I could see the blood on the lyrics I write for myself I cried about slavery, then went to Dubai with my girl "Surely I ain't part of the problem", I lied to myself Jewels that my people die for are a sign of my wealth My work is a physical weight of my life and my health The last couple years, felt like I been inside on a shelf I just phoned Cench, and I said, "You inspired myself" I don't feel a spot of jealousy inside of myself But when I'm all alone, I won't lie, I question myself Am I self-destructive? Am I doin' the best for myself? I know I love music, but I question the rest of myself Like, why don't you post pictures? Or why don't you drop music? Or why not do somethin' but sittin' and stressin' yourself? Ten years I been in the game and I won't lie, it's gettin' difficult This shit used to be spiritual We don't need no commentators, we could leave that to the sports Just listen to the music, why do you need somebody's thoughts? And some of it constructive, but most of it is forced And why we countin' the numbers, how the music make you feel? I'm just bein' real (Alright) Yeah White fish on the coast of the Caribbean, my life is a film Hero and villain, I'm playin' both in the script Worthy of Oscar and Hollywood nominations I'm throwin' money at women in different denominations and killin' the conversation All them people told me, "Keep grindin', be patient" It's weird bein' famous, tryna navigate the spaces Feel like a celebrity, but you ain't on the A-list And you never drop, so you ain't really on a playlist But your fans love you, you can see it on their faces America feels so close that you can taste it 2017, was tryna make it to the ranges 2025, I'm tryna make it to the Grainges How do I explain me and my soulmate are strangers That we've already met and I've known her for ages? How do I explain? Because I'm runnin' out of pages How do I explain South London and its dangers? Can't recall the last time that we was all together, but All I can remember, the Olympics was in Beijing Move to Dubai, that's for the taxes that they takin' Or move to Qatar, feel the breeze on the beach But how can I explain to my kids that it's fake wind? Free, but I'm broke, have me feelin' like I'm caged in How do I explain two pounds got you eight wings? How do I explain my opps lost, but we ain't win? Girls I'm around had surgery on their hips How do I explain that I love her the way she is? How do I explain my feelings of having kids? That it wasn't what it was, but it is what it is How do I explain my niggas are in the hood? And they don't ask for nothin' even though they know they could 'Cause they rather trap, rob and get it on their own How do I explain these messages on my phone? I just got a call, my girl's sittin' in the car And it says "Serge", but Serge with us in the car I know I might sound like a villain from afar How do I explain that my mechanic is a chick? Or why she callin' me when I don't even own a whip because my licence is revoked? I mean, how do I explain that I don't wanna heal 'cause my identity is pain? How do I explain, I mean, how do I explain? I went and hit the streets because I didn't want a boss I ended up a worker, I was barely gettin' paid For someone that was two years above me in my age I didn't even find it strange, I mean, how do I explain? Yeah Fifty-two miles from Marseilles, I'm in Miraval Four years, seventeen days, I ain't been around I can't lie, it even shocks me that I'm still around I can't lie, it even shocks me how I'm livin' now Starin' at this Rachel Jones paintin', I'm sittin' down The last thing I drew was a weapon, I'm livin' wild Turned twenty-seven, but I feel like I'm still a child In this house out in Central London I can barely afford Six months sober and I feel like I'm Dave again Drinkin' all my pain and my sorrows away again I got withdrawal symptoms, but they happen at ATMs Next two years, I'll be lookin' at eighty M's Who's the best artist in the world? I'm sayin' Tems Maybe James Blake or Jim, on the day, depends Let's see who quits now we ain't gettin' paid again Yeah I'm just here drinkin' liquor by myself Is my music just becomin' a depiction of my wealth? Never trust a girl whose lock screen's a picture of herself, I had to learn that shit myself Now I'm sittin' by myself with no girl, like, shit, I really did this to myself Twenty-seven and I'm terrified of livin' by myself 'cause there's a kid inside myself I haven't healed And me and him debate each other I can't love myself, I'm made from two people that hate each other My parents couldn't even save each other, made each other unhappy Used to be excited by the block, but size doesn't matter You supplyin' it or not? Sling a shot, I could've really killed a giant with a rock But that's a life that I forgot, and my young boys are slidin' over what? I don't know 'cause I ain't spoke to him in time Been afraid of gettin' older, scared of bein' left behind And then I, and then I question, will I live my life in resent? Is anybody ever gonna take my kindness for strength? I gave Tisha the world, it weren't enough and then she went Everybody's makin' content, but nobody's content Safe space, can I vent? It crept up My girl cheated on me when I was next up It made me want her even more, man, it's messed up I still walk around the Vale with my chest out I don't wanna leave my house because I'm stressed out You done me dirty and you didn't even tell a lie It ain't about what you said, it's what you left out My whole life, I been feelin' like I'm left out If you fuck another girl, she say you cheated on her And if she fuck another man, she say she stepped out And if you askin' 'bout Dave, they say, "The best out" Yeah, and I survived through these eras cah I barely made any, I'm just speakin' how I feel Yeah Fucked up, speakin' how I feel Recordin' till the morning, I ain't even had a meal I dropped Joni home and fell asleep behind the wheel Drivin' at a hundred an hour, I switched gears I ain't spoke to 169 in six years Don't even get me started on—, this shit's weird Call me what you want, but with music, I'm sincere You wanna know the reason it's taken me four years? It's not 'cause I'm surrounded by yes-men and sycophants It's 'cause I'm with producers and people that give a damn It's me who's gotta carry the pressure, I live with that All I thought about was the song we could give the fans When I was out there gettin' stood up by artists I'm bigger than I don't want no girls around when my nieces, they visit man They might see the way that I'm livin', I figured that I wanna be a good man, but I wanna be myself too And I don't think that I can do both, so I can't let her too close It hurts, but I'm still movin', feel like it's me versus me and I'm still losin' Yo, my boy, it's Josiah, what you sayin'? You know man had to check you on your fuckin' birthday, my boy More life, my guy Man soon out, don't even watch that What you sayin', though, bro? I know you got space on one of them eight-minute, nine-minute tracks to give man a shoutout Tell the people dem my story Dem man already know what I was on, the mandem know my thing Come on, bro, I know you got me Aight, lastly, my sis, Tamah I beg you check in with her, please, make sure she's blessed While I'm gone, make sure she's safe Ayy, soon home, my boy, love