Dance: Ten Looks: Three

I swiped my dance card once after an audition And on a scale of then they gave me For dance, ten, for looks, three Well, dance, ten, looks, three And I'm still on unemployment Dancing for my own enjoyment That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid Dance, ten, looks, three It's like to die! Left the theater and called the doctor For my appointment to buy Tits and ass Bought myself a fancy pair Tightened up the derriere Did the nose with it, all that goes with it Tits and ass Had the bingo-bongos done Suddenly I'm getting national tours Tits and ass won't get you jobs unless they're yours Didn't cost a fortune neither Didn't hurt my sex life either Flat and sassy I would get the strays and losers Beggars really can't be choosers That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid Fixed the chassis How do you do Life turned into and endless medley Of 'Gee it had to be you', why? Tits and ass Where the cupboard once was bare Now you knock and someone's there You have got 'em, hey, top to bottom, hey It's a gas, just a dash of silicone Shake your new maracas and you're fine Tits and ass can change your life They sure changed mine You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you? Have it all done Honey, take my word Grab a cab, c'mon, see the wizard on Park and Seventy-Third For tits and ass Orchestra and balcony What they want is what you see Keep the best of you, do the rest of you Pits or class I have never seen it fail Debutante or chorus girl or wife Tits and ass, yes, tits and ass Have changed my life