Dance: Ten Looks: Three

I swiped my dance card once after an audition

And on a scale of then they gave me

For dance, ten, for looks, three

Well, dance, ten, looks, three

And I'm still on unemployment

Dancing for my own enjoyment

That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid

Dance, ten, looks, three

It's like to die!

Left the theater and called the doctor

For my appointment to buy

Tits and ass

Bought myself a fancy pair

Tightened up the derriere

Did the nose with it, all that goes with it

Tits and ass

Had the bingo-bongos done

Suddenly I'm getting national tours

Tits and ass won't get you jobs unless they're yours

Didn't cost a fortune neither

Didn't hurt my sex life either

Flat and sassy

I would get the strays and losers

Beggars really can't be choosers

That ain't it, kid, that ain't it, kid

Fixed the chassis

How do you do

Life turned into and endless medley

Of 'Gee it had to be you', why?

Tits and ass

Where the cupboard once was bare

Now you knock and someone's there

You have got 'em, hey, top to bottom, hey

It's a gas, just a dash of silicone

Shake your new maracas and you're fine

Tits and ass can change your life

They sure changed mine

You're all looking at my tits now, aren't you?

Have it all done

Honey, take my word

Grab a cab, c'mon, see the wizard on

Park and Seventy-Third

For tits and ass

Orchestra and balcony

What they want is what you see

Keep the best of you, do the rest of you

Pits or class

I have never seen it fail

Debutante or chorus girl or wife

Tits and ass, yes, tits and ass

Have changed my life