H.B.D.M.F.

[Verse 1] This is your time This is your day You've waited and wondered You've pondered and planned Where will you stay? What would they say? How will you get there? Where will you go? What will they give you? How many friends will show? (It better be everybody) So [Chorus] Happy birthday, here's to ya Happy birthday everyone Buy 'em a beer, give 'em a cheer Some love and affection A gift card, a cake and a hug [Verse 2] What self-respecting adult Makes a big deal of their birthday? (Me) It's time to simmer down and stop acting like you're ten (Excuse me?) But we know you're a really big deal so let's get it out of the way For you and nearly two million other important people born today [Chorus] Happy birthday, here's to ya We know all about it 'cause you told everyone (Everyone) It's attention that you seek It's a birthday, not a week You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun [Verse 3] Throw yourself a big old party (Yeah) Rent yourself a big old hall Send out invitations to your shitty birthday ball Stop posting pictures and videos You think you're so cinematic (I am) Blow out those freaking candles and get over it Don't be so dramatic [Chorus] Happy birthday, here's to ya Happy birthday everyone No more beers, no more cheers No more love and affection No gift cards, no cakes and no hugs Happy birthday, here's to ya We know all about it 'cause you told everyone (Everyone) It's attention that you seek It's a birthday, not a week You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun You're a wicked sick, sad, selfish son of a gun [Outro] Guys, get together for a picture Come on, everybody (Boo) We need a picture (God, will this broad get over it?) Come on Why is nobody listening to me? (Jesus Christ, I've had it up to here) Get together for a picture Here, you hold the camera Midnight Wrap it up please Smile It's not your day anymore Okay