Any Man

[Produced by Mr. Walt of Da Beatminerz] [Intro] Hi! [Verse 1] Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with mace I laced the weed with insect repellent, better check to smell it Eminem starts with E, better check the spellin' With a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my Adam's apple (Hurry up!) Somebody dropped me on my head, and I'm for sure That my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months And said "I'm ready now, bitch! Ain't you feelin' these kicks, cunt?" The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell I'll probably have a cell next to a furnace in Hell I'm sicker than sperm cells with syphilis germs And I'm hotter than my dick is when I piss and it burns (Pssss! Ow!) I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach And vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it (Yuck!) Hit you in the head with a brick 'til you plummet If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick 'til you numb it And all that gibberish you was spittin', you need to kill it ‘Cause your style is like dying in my sleep, I don't feel it [Chorus] ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills, and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – you hear me? Huh? Is fuckin' crazy – hello, hi! ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – do you hear me? Is fuckin' crazy [Verse 2] I'm ice-grillin' you, starin' you down with a gremlin grin I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym I'm Slim, the "Shady" is really a fake alias To save me with in case I get chased by space aliens A brainiac, with a cranium packed Full of more uranium than a maniac Saudi Arabian A highly combustible head, spasmatic Strapped to a Craftmatic adjustable bed Laid up in the hospital in critical condition I flatlined, jumped up, and ran from the mortician High speed, IV full of Thai weed Lookin' Chinese with my knees stuck together like Siamese Twins, joined at the groin like lesbians (Uh) Pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pens I hope God forgives me for my sins It probably all depends on if I keep on killin' my girlfriends [Chorus] ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills, and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – you hear me? Huh? Is fuckin' crazy – listen! ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – do you hear me? Is fuckin' crazy [Verse 3] Last night, I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust And got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed (Shucks!) I'm an alcoholic, and that's all I can say I call in at work, ‘cause all I do is frolic and play I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day Of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be (RRARRRRH) Give me eleven Excedrin, my head'll spin Medicine'll get me revvin' like a 747 jet engine Scratched my balls 'til I shredded skin "Doctor, check this rash! Look how red it's been!" "It's probably AIDS!" "Forget it then." I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows That don't even make sense, like dykes using dildos So reach in your billfolds for ten ducats And pick up this Slim Shady shit that's on Rawkus "Somethin', somethin', somethin', somethin', I get weeded." My daughter scribbled over that rhyme, I couldn't read it (damn!) [Chorus] ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills, and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – you hear me? Huh? Is fuckin' crazy – hello?! ‘Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan For twenty grand, a bottle of pain pills and a minithin Is fuckin' crazy – do you hear me? Is fuckin' crazy [Outro] Hi, something's not right I'm sorry, I'm mentally retarded Slim Shady, I think that's my name Rawkus Records, fuckin' crazy Do you hear us? We're fuckin' crazy! All of us! Hi… bye… goodnight, somethin'