Troublemaker

[Intro: Eminem] The story I'm about to tell is a true story And my family knows it's a true story That's why they might not wanna listen [Verse 1: Eminem] I never asked to be born, so don't blame me for the crap I did You're the one who made the choice to have me I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused my ratty mom and daddy If they spent a bit more time with me, they'd've noticed They was raising [?] got some problems [?] But mommy didn't want me and that made me bitter Shitty diapers and the formula, you dumped me on the babysitter Buzzin' around from place-to-place to whoever would take me I developed a problem listenin' and you never could make me I learned how to crawl and got ahold of matches Thought it was neat the way they sparked and then I'm settin' fire to my mattress So curse the bratty baby, I didn't wanna take off my clothes My daddy made me, later my grandma tells me that he raped me If that didn't make me corrupted, then tell me what the fuck did Now you got a fucked up kid runnin' around the street sayin', "Fuck this" Cussin' neighbors up and down the street after Influence this behavior onto my little nephew I come home to my parents' arguments as their wedlock Ends up becomin' headlocks towards the end of their marriage So my father leaves shoeprints, but he doesn't leave two cents Put the blame on the nuisance, he ain't nothin' but a troublemaker [Verse 2: Eminem] It's time for Mom to get a brand new man But Pops, Mama said (uh) he'll support us better than you can (ha!) She don't like him, but she says we'll have to supplement 'Cause we don't got no money and now the landlord wants to up the rent (huh) So he takes care but he told me to get my hair cut if I don't [?] with my bare butt He'll send me in the corner of my room 'til I get a square butt But if he puts one finger on me, I'm jettin' I'll threaten to run away, Mom don't believe how ornery I'm gettin' So as he poses like everything's all roses Mom goes out, the door closes and I'm beat with a closed fist But my mom never saw shit, she didn't see any problem Comin' home from her job and findin' me locked in my closet And I deserve it - I'm too mouthy, so she's sendin' me to Cali To go live in an alley with my father, the alkie So my daddy's out gamblin', I'm back at the house starving Rotten eggs that I'm scramblin' stick to the pan with no margarine Everything else is covered in mice turds and I can't find the thermostat Where the fuck's the furnace at? I've turned to an iceberg December 25th, my expectations were sabotaged If Santa Claus left any gifts, he wrapped them in camouflage So I cry 'til I fall asleep, the bastard's liver collapses And my mom collects from his policy So I'm welcomed back home with open arms But I've grew since to a much bigger nuisance You ain't seen a fucking troublemaker [Break: Eminem] Uh-huh Yeah Uh [Verse 3: Eminem] Now I'm flown right back to the motherfucking Terrordome And puberty's got my voice deeper than down to a baritone Now I'm fitting Dad's shoes, but right when I hit the door The son of a bitches recognize a lad who's nothin' but bad news, ha Mama wept crocodile tears of joy While I step, Papa smiled "Here's our boy!" Fuck the jivin', you don't care how I've been I'm almost big enough for driving, I'm 13 and 5'10" And I'm growing up at a fast rate, I just discovered I'm heterosexual So I went around grabbing the butts of my female classmates I get suspension, plus immoderate punishment We would've still [?] drugs [?] a ton of shit [?] couldn't make me wanna quit This only turned me to a glutton They got my sanity hanging on by a thread like a button So summer comes, the grass is dry, I drop a match and burn the lawn I put my hamster in the microwave and turn it on So now their hands are full 'cause I'm just too intangible for their tolerance Let the juvenile system tame this animal, I'm sick of hollering Look, I got problems - they don't got the patience I've got all these frustrations inside of me that don't even make sense So now I walk the halls of youth homes Searchin' 'em for escape routes with a fine tooth comb 'Cause they ain't keepin' me with the tough defenses Plus once I turn 18, I'm of-age and can stop humping fences Finally, I'm 18, I'm free, they wipe the slate clean on me Now, it's just me and my new girlfriend living off of baked beans Ronnie's got no diploma, Ronnie don't get good employment Ronnie's life's down the toilet, so who should Ronnie point at? For bein' a stoner my last year of teens Smokin' bowls to the [?] from the box, pokin' holes in my clothes And I'm down to my last pair of jeans, that's what I've got to look forward to But I don't wanna look forward, nor would you So this Christmas I'll be with Jesus When you find me laying on a couch with my head in pieces But to my nephew, I just wanna have the truth known Engrave, "The little troublemaker never had a chance" on my tombstone