Epic rap Battles of History Donald Trump Vs Kamala Harris Begin
I've got the best wordplays, ask my supporters
I've got more diss abilities than a New York Times reporter
You're a scam, your whole nomination is a hoax
Your party is so pro-choice, they aborted a state's right to vote
You pencil pushing pussy bows, think you can scare me with prison?
Get your mugshot, then your mug shot
Then come talk to me about convictions
You're the radical left, you should be embarrassed
The way you divide our country, I'll call you Cameltoe Harris
Your inflation's got our nation clippin' coupons
Wallets leaking worse than a wet lab in Wuhan
I had every American's 401k thrivin'
Stock markets higher than the planes full of migrants you fly in
And don't even try to deny the cognitive decline you were hiding
Propping up Joe like it was Weekend at Biden's
I'm here to teach you what losing to a winner feels like
Ask Pence: I know how to drop a Mike!
I know you're not all ears, but listen up close
You are JD Vance's beard level weird, you are gross (Ehh!)
You've been bending American decency over a barrel
Giving Lady Liberty the finger like she's E. Jean Carroll
In that big creepy house with our secrets stacked in piles
From documents to pedos, you spend too much time with files
Having sleepovers with Laura Loomer, what's going on with ya?
Can't you afford more than Temu Melania? (Hoo!)
You failed in your own city: bank, ballot box and court
You're Home Alone 2, you lost in New York
I was there on January 6th, it wasn't fun for me
Just like your bowels, I was evacuated suddenly (Aggh!)
You are history's least hopeful presidential hopeful
Moods swinging wildly like stock in Truth Social
I'm here to build bridges from Texas to Niagara Falls
She-she-she-she's even got better Walz!
I hope you wrote that commie crap in red
'cause you're taking a huge loss
This is ending worse for you than Afghanistan did for your boss
A man handed you everything you ever did
You couldn't make your own way, you couldn't even make your own kids
Your mommy was absent when you were just a little baby
And if she saw you now, she'd wish she were a childless cat lady
And if your racist landlord daddy wasn't dead
It'd kill him seeing me living rent free in your head!
Well, I know how you failed the bar exam after that
I guess the half of you whose job it is to rap isn't black!
Oh, good one, you ketchup smelling edgelord
You rock the beat softer than Stormy Daniels' headboard (Heheheh!)
I can't believe I'm even in a race with this hog
Hope you wear makeup in Ohio, 'cause they're eating the dogs
Donald, I'm putting you away like a rapist back in Cali
You should leave this battle early like the crowds at your rallies
I have all the biggest rallies
Yeah? Well, I've got Taylor Swift
You're ugly! You are ugly!
Well, you're a Marxist-
Jumpin' Jesus H. Huckleberry Christ on a crutch!
No one wants to fight about politics this much
You! Madam red, white and pantsuit
Don't let getting hired be the greatest thing you ever do
And you! Sweet baby back ribs up in heaven
Try not to slide democracy straight to Chapter 11
I've come here on the back of my musky antlered beast
With a message for whichever one of you sucks the least
This government was founded on self-evident truths
So keep it of the people, by the people, for the people! Moose!
WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
