Epic rap battles of history! MOSES!
Vs! santa claus! BEGIN!
Sweet robes, Obi-wan-too many days in the sun
Stop preachin' homie
Teach your flock to covet some fun!
I bring joy every year
Man I represent cheer
You represent sandals and a scraggly beard
I'm from the North Pole
That's why my rhymes are so cold!
I spit diamonds but I'm serving
Up some fresh coal
You've been a naughty boy
You brought a plague of frogs
You'd best arrest yourself
You broke your own law
Or was there something in Rule
Six I didn't understand?
My list says killed Egyptian dude
Buried him in sand
I read your book, you got a strict religion
No bacon, but mandatory circumcision?
I'm a jolly bowl of jelly
Giving holiday presents
But all the chosen people ever
Get for Christmas is jealous!
When I was high up on the mountain
God revealed the truths of the Earth
But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf
It takes 9 reindeers to haul your fat-ass
You took the Christ out of Christmas
And just added more mass
You need to stop breakin into
Houses and creepin' and peepin'
On naughty kids while they' sleepin' and
Keep yo' hands off my stockin'
Don't you 'Ho Ho' me! I'll
Split yo ass in half, like I did the Red Sea
You ain't a saint you' a slaver
Like a pharaoh in the snow
Stop with the unpaid labor
And let my little people go!
We ain't slaves!
All that sand turned your brain to mush!
I think you need to stop
Smokin' all that burnin' bush
Yeah, we're magical workers, man!
We hang with reindeers yo! Here's a GPS!
Who gets lost for forty years!?
You're a glorified secretary
So write this down begat deez nuts!
Santa Claus is comin' to town
So much drama in the Israe-L BC
It's kinda hard talkin' directly
To the G-O-single-D
Hand me my chisel, I got a new command'izzle
For y'all
Thou shalt not let your children sit on
A grown man's lap at the mall
I'll beat you ten times before
The bread can rise, you dummy
And walk off to the land
Of my milk and honies
Who won? who's next? you decide!
Epic rap battles of history!
Lyrics provided by LRCLIB
