Vlad the Impaler vs Count Dracula

*Howl* EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY! COUNT DRACULA! VERSUS! VLAD THE IMPALER! BEGIN! Imagine forests of corpses, dripping on a buffet You call that a nightmare? I call that a Tuesday Vlad Dracula, spawn of the devil Dipping my bread in your weeping blood vessels Scorched the earth from Hungary to Wallachia I inspire fear, you inspire Count Chocula Step to the Turks and the bodies started dropping Put my foot on Ottomans like I was furniture shopping I save my stakes, no need crucifix I kill you with Olive Garden garlic breadsticks I butcher men, women, and children like cows Put more meat on swords than Fogo de Chão! Does this mic still work after that blah, blah, blah? Check one... two... ah, ah, ah! The flex of a rear-spearing princeling, can't vex me 'Cause I nibble necks and I make it look sexy I'm Universally known for intrigue and desire I shapeshift into mist and bone Winona Ryder Slick hair, popped collar, and a damn nice cape While you've got less taste than an Anne Rice cake Your rhymes are empty, like I leave vascular systems I'd grant you the privilege of being Dracula's victim But the thought of biting you makes me get nauseous You don't look like the type that's keen on neck washes! Did you shapeshift those punchlines? 'Cause they mist Your skill's like your reflection: it doesn't exist! Turn your taint to a 'tis, when I put a stick through ya Haven't seen a sucker this soft, since Bunnicula Get beat by Count Dracula? You're smoking crackula I dunk on your wackula raps like I'm Shaqula (Oh!) I'm Vlad to the bone, Vlad the hat-nailer Vlad that commits heinous acts on rats, ask the jailer You leeched my name, you pale son of a bitch And your weak ass gets beat by the sun at the beach Your slick hair and cape are all flappy razzle-dazzle But at end of day you're a bat, and that's only half a battle Wow! I did not know that you could read That's great... now let's see if you can bleed! (Hiss!) Ha! You thought the sun could kill me? Not true! I'm the vampire so cold they call me Nosfer-achoo! My syllable delivery is devilishly intricate I rock the house, once I'm invited into it And here's a tidbit, that you can stick a stake up: You're losing so bad you should join Team Jacob Renfield! Yes master? Call a doctor, not Seward (ugh!) Cause Vlad the Impaler has just been skewered WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC- AAAAA, AAA AA AA AAAAHAA RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!