I Killed Myself But I Didn't Die

I killed myself but I didn't die She crossed her heart and stuck a needle in her eye She promised me she'll never leave me alone She doesn't sleep she only calls me on the phone all night I went to school but I didn't learn I touched the fire but I didn't feel the burn Somehow I got desensitized to the world I hate pop music and I hate the Duke of Earl I killed myself but I didn't die Now in the hospital recovering I lie None of the visitors can look me in the eye They say "How are ya?" but they don't apologize, oh no And my mom came in she was having trouble trying to speak She could see that her boy was some sort of freak I killed myself but I didn't die Now she's my baby she's the apple of my eye She only wants a sensitive guy And I've been in and out of my mind three times Thats just the way, the way I always was I go to therapy but I don't take the drugs I try and really look my life in the face I think I'm learning that there's no way to escape, oh no And the worst part is that I didn't even really care It's just to be or not to be and either way I'm only barely there I killed myself but I'm still around I think the living dead will like me better now I'm gonna socialize I'm gonna go out more I'll be so beautiful with nothing at the core