Sex, Drugs & Rock ‘n’ Roll

C'est Cheese Sex, Drugs, And Rrsp's As a little boy I dreamed of playing rock and roll Playing in stadiums with every ticket sold Seven figure income from a six string guitar Dating gorgeous women and drivin' custom cars Then it happened when my record went gold Now I'm thinking what'll I do when I get old? Can't live forever as the king of rock That's why I'm investing in some blue chip stock I got sex, drugs, and rrsps I'm a rock and roller with financial security Sex, drugs and rrsps I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity I'm a modern rebel with a cause I like finding loopholes in the new tax laws My fans are reading 'bout me in the rolling stone While I'm talking to my broker on the telephone On stage I run around like some animal But all my money's in a compound annual This life is dangerous but I don't care 'cause I got insurance on my guitar and my hair! I got sex, drugs, and rrsps I'm a rock and roller with financial security Sex, drugs and rrsps I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity We used to be such a happy band.. Phil and Nick and Bob and Stan But Phil choked on his vomit And then Nick choked on his vomit And then Stan choked on his vomit And then so did Bob What a bunch of idiots! Their deaths sure meant an awful lot to me 'Cause now I'm getting all their royalties They would have spent them on women and booze But me I got commodities that just can't lose! I got sex, drugs, and rrsps I'm a rock and roller with financial security Sex, drugs and rrsps I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity I got sex, drugs, and rrsps I'm a rock and roller with financial security Sex, drugs and rrsps I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity I'm a guitar hero with mortgage equity!!! Hey guys, I brought beer! History is made by stupid people Scott became famous for freezing to death in Antarctica Columbus made history thinking some island was India General Custer's a national hero for not knowing when to run All of these men are famous And they're also very dumb History is made by stupid people Clever people wouldn't even try If you want a place in the history books Then do something dumb before you die Nobility are famous for no reason Mary Antoinette enjoyed her cake She caused a revolution when she would not share And her husband lost his head for that mistake The Hindenburg was a giant Zeppelin Its makers made a minor oversight Before they filled it up with explosive gas They should have fixed the no-smoking light 'Cause... History is made by stupid people Clever people wouldn't even try If you want a place in the history books Then do something dumb before you die Tally-ho! tally-ho! Our king and country's honour we will save! Tally-ho! tally-ho! We're marching into history and the grave! So if your son and daughter seem too lazy Sitting there watching bad tv Just remember you should be quite grateful At least they are not making history 'Cause... History is made by stupid people Clever people wouldn't even try If you want a place in the history books Then do something dumb before you die Yes... Do something dumb before you die Yes... Do something dumb before you die C'est Cheese Sex, Drugs, And Rrsp's