Carving The Stone

My future endings are all behind me All these lines are in decline Forced awake at night to mourn this loss of time I’ve lost what’s mine. Every move I make feels binding Reminding all I’ve lost my shine A lost belief in mine I carve this endless stone No more divine. Now the romance is fading, there’s no pay to be saving The blood is draining a state, the place gone stale and it’s failing I hear the bean-nighe wailing, she tries to wash out the staining And somehow I’m craving nothing new. I’ve crawled back through the cracks in my own mind Retraced the memories all long lost to the cruelty of time Back to a life before boredom, stress, and rent When whole summers and lovers were etched in wet cement. Young days were haunting We were oversharing, trauma bonding And still wanting what we can’t afford “Holy mother of sweet jaysus lord save us I’ve heard that same line a thousand times” And remember exactly what we left behind. Smashed in the head outside a creche With his son in his hands Left with a phone in his pocket With two missed calls from his Mam The same road they put that knife up to my chest and I ran Time and place will make a boy of a man. Those same bricks a stone's throw from where Tommy took his licks Beat to a pulp in one night in front of our eyes And none of us would ask why, two black eyes and a smile Afraid of the cost if we knew It’s that Joe Gans, blood in his hands Hardman black and blue Make to confess under threat, to a wealth of his sins He was punished for his crimes and for some things he never did. His disney mug filled with discount tonic and gin And his blood stained grin still staring cold at us kids. He couldn’t shoulder the burden of that boulder Back to the start of the hill into the hands of the holder I can feel it too each day I get colder My best mate said it’s fine, I have time But I told her Modern life makes fools of our kind now we’re older. And we’re Torn apart mentally Torn apart by dreams of what we’re meant to be But I have new roads sent to me daily Praise be Thank jaysus I’m not alone. My mate said hold tighter, the weight will get lighter I said I’m fine, I’ll keep carving the stone. "