Carving The Stone

My future endings are all behind me
All these lines are in decline
Forced awake at night to mourn this loss of time
I’ve lost what’s mine.
Every move I make feels binding
Reminding all I’ve lost my shine
A lost belief in mine I carve this endless stone
No more divine.
Now the romance is fading, there’s no pay to be saving
The blood is draining a state, the place gone stale and it’s failing
I hear the bean-nighe wailing, she tries to wash out the staining
And somehow I’m craving nothing new.
I’ve crawled back through the cracks in my own mind
Retraced the memories all long lost to the cruelty of time
Back to a life before boredom, stress, and rent
When whole summers and lovers were etched in wet cement.
Young days were haunting
We were oversharing, trauma bonding
And still wanting what we can’t afford
“Holy mother of sweet jaysus lord save us
I’ve heard that same line a thousand times”
And remember exactly what we left behind.
Smashed in the head outside a creche
With his son in his hands
Left with a phone in his pocket
With two missed calls from his Mam
The same road they put that knife up to my chest and I ran
Time and place will make a boy of a man.
Those same bricks a stone's throw from where Tommy took his licks
Beat to a pulp in one night in front of our eyes
And none of us would ask why, two black eyes and a smile
Afraid of the cost if we knew
It’s that Joe Gans, blood in his hands
Hardman black and blue
Make to confess under threat, to a wealth of his sins
He was punished for his crimes and for some things he never did.
His disney mug filled with discount tonic and gin
And his blood stained grin still staring cold at us kids.
He couldn’t shoulder the burden of that boulder
Back to the start of the hill into the hands of the holder
I can feel it too each day I get colder
My best mate said it’s fine, I have time
But I told her
Modern life makes fools of our kind now we’re older.
And we’re
Torn apart mentally
Torn apart by dreams of what we’re meant to be
But I have new roads sent to me daily
Praise be
Thank jaysus I’m not alone.
My mate said hold tighter, the weight will get lighter
I said I’m fine, I’ll keep carving the stone.
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