all i ever will be

I was running from everybody else And just isolating myself constantly Up until I got to the point where I realized The problem was deeply rooted in myself, you know? But you don't really realize that when you're in the midst of it You just kinda assume the worst and hate everything around you Including yourself So take all that stress, decompress it And hang it up right at the door Feeling like this isn't fun anymore Not that it ever was But lately everyone's Misunderstanding what's really import Tantalizing sights and feelings ignored Paths to get over, it never explored Overgrown nothingness stemmed from destruction It's deeply embedded beneath all my subsidence Goodness gracious I'm so cold My body's filled with brittle bones They'll break and bend as I grow old I hope your hand is mine to hold Goodness gracious I'm alone Broken my sticks and thrown my stones I'll go somewhere where no one knows me I don't mind being this lonely So maybe it's grim But I'll spill on a whim about all that I think My thoughts subside till I'm pushed to the brink Miscalculated So often equated To shit so insane, I think I need a shrink Traumatized by flies that hatch in my head Metamorphosis ensued 'til I'm dead It's funny how they can grow Little do they all know Their home is rotting and damn near condemned Dissociation Deserting my patience I don't think I'll wake up and realize That feeling this vacant No communication Is simply leaving me terrorized I see all these faces Inside of the places That only exist when I close my eyes So if this is a phase That is bound to erase Then I guess that I ought to just give it time Goodness gracious I'm so cold My body's filled with brittle bones They'll break and bend as I grow old I hope your hand is mine to hold Goodness gracious I'm alone Broken my sticks and thrown my stones I'll go somewhere where no one knows me I don't mind being this lonely All I ever will be Is someone that'll kill me A parasitic head fuck Monotonous and willing All I ever wished for Is sanity by 24 But I never got that I never got that