all i ever will be

I was running from everybody else
And just isolating myself constantly
Up until I got to the point where I realized
The problem was deeply rooted in myself, you know?
But you don't really realize that when you're in the midst of it
You just kinda assume the worst and hate everything around you
Including yourself

So take all that stress, decompress it
And hang it up right at the door
Feeling like this isn't fun anymore
Not that it ever was
But lately everyone's
Misunderstanding what's really import
Tantalizing sights and feelings ignored
Paths to get over, it never explored
Overgrown nothingness stemmed from destruction
It's deeply embedded beneath all my subsidence

Goodness gracious
I'm so cold
My body's filled with brittle bones
They'll break and bend as I grow old
I hope your hand is mine to hold
Goodness gracious
I'm alone
Broken my sticks and thrown my stones
I'll go somewhere where no one knows me
I don't mind being this lonely

So maybe it's grim
But I'll spill on a whim about all that I think
My thoughts subside till I'm pushed to the brink
Miscalculated
So often equated
To shit so insane, I think I need a shrink
Traumatized by flies that hatch in my head
Metamorphosis ensued 'til I'm dead
It's funny how they can grow
Little do they all know
Their home is rotting and damn near condemned

Dissociation
Deserting my patience
I don't think I'll wake up and realize
That feeling this vacant
No communication
Is simply leaving me terrorized
I see all these faces
Inside of the places
That only exist when I close my eyes
So if this is a phase
That is bound to erase
Then I guess that I ought to just give it time

Goodness gracious
I'm so cold
My body's filled with brittle bones
They'll break and bend as I grow old
I hope your hand is mine to hold
Goodness gracious
I'm alone
Broken my sticks and thrown my stones
I'll go somewhere where no one knows me
I don't mind being this lonely

All I ever will be
Is someone that'll kill me
A parasitic head fuck
Monotonous and willing
All I ever wished for
Is sanity by 24
But I never got that
I never got that