Collude / Intrude

[Intro: El-P as robotic commander] Mr. Len, A.K.A. "Space Ghost" – please commence intro.  Company Flow – perform.  J-Treds – prepare.  El-P – prepare.  You have approximately five minutes.  Fuck the bullshit.  Time-Warner will fall.  Record labels will fall.  Earth will crumble.  Begin.  [Verse 1: El-P] Enter the all-city access and uncapper the likes of these Regionally, no more molasses action No wonder I'm a type to crush contenders for pure chewing satisfaction Purvey the ultra-harmonica, could Bakula up your mediocre faction Sonic boom head soup, contact off an attachable Miele vacuum Kill deaf MC's with closed caption Wind up in the willows, cast the whirling dervish Or the dead and dumb millennium is at your service Solar packets brigade pivot then back fell another MC who thought 'Cause he was dipped in powder blue that he could rock past-El Got your Hip-Hop essence out of the Cross Colours catalog While I lorde technology Ask L. Ron Hubbard to break down my Scientology Fucking up through the chest, I bust insidious, bad touching Boogie, to break, to bumrushing Fresh duck – tainted, vile fiend This track achieves pain penicillin, crack, and AZT couldn't relieve Being Sizzlean – I'll trim the fat like Susan Powter's Disrespectin' burners like CAP, licking off shots from clock towers Play 'Ring Around A Dead Nation' The Deadhead situation, situated to cease all humilation MC's are helpless like Godzuki Faggot like RuPaul, true to the new sensation Fuck that whole wannabe gangster fascination The illusion is broke, all cock-gobblers misspoke And got the El-P rookie card stuck in their bicycle spoke For those VH1 crystallized, pseudo-ripped blokes Let the liquid tanner soak into the seam of your coat Meet the professional dead-or-live politic technician Straight-neck capital P, for the deep throat dickin' I was that first monkey to touch the Monolith, delinquent Up in that crack like White Squall for the week and I sunk your Battleship Parked in a hot zone, bow to the Ebola Manifest brain tumors through the phone as you roamin' your Motorola [Verse 2: J-Treds] All hail J and El, the fans rise We got the grand prize, foes fantasize runner-up The closest they can see it Because – skills so lenient, I've been boastin' with half a flow They can't handle the whole weight, son Diagnosis: bulimic, believe it My best line, too advanced for Pop Warner – you got cornered Scouting report: can't scramble in the clutch But when I get down, it's third and inches, threatening to score How you gonna tackle the topic when you suck at two-hand touch? We're too damn much for your defense Break you down, zone weakens Words bring embarrassment, captains look like third string in comparison To this duo known to kick fat flows And beat suckers straight up and down, Tic-Tac-Toe Game over when I blow your mind, but then I aim lower, explosive cuts Verbal flamethrower, serving roasted nuts As after-battle snacks; you'll wish you wore a cup in your panties All you pussies in this rap game – time to up the ante What's your fancy? Big time skills or small penny? Dead the latter, my varsity letter fatter than your JV Only play with the big boys, toys bringing that weak shit Before the battle, I hit em 'off with the fat lady's latest release on cassette They were done from the start Ran for the finish, got detoured from the fast route by the #1 spot holder Holdin' ground for our town – N.Y.  For those who don't acknowledge, they get left ass out like plumbers [Interlude: El-P as robotic commander] Congratulations, men. You have made it halfway.  They are fallen. Their armies are retreating.  The job is not over. You must continue.  Please move forward.  El-P – bring out tactic invasion.  Start. Summation equals now.  Do not fail us. We're counting on you.  [Verse 3: El-P] Fix your thoughts, icy hot, like three meals with a cot included Where The Sidewalk Ends and all your linear math get diluted If and when he saw a spangle Pack the brim, circular meta-scented deject wreck-the-tangle Fuck Time-Warner and it's affiliates – promotin' that wannabe Big Willie shit Leave those fancy clothes up to the Pope List all personal possessions in your liner notes But I connect wreck, genuinely cuttin' through these red ropes Son, grip the love spigot Yeah, that's the ticket This platoon pop 99 Luftballons While the one-hit blunderbusses exhaust like city buses I bomb, like rats accost, for the sake of skill, lost and found Bound by DNA patterns you wish you could climb Just a little girl around the way of my set – that's profound Enter the evil opus, focus on rats scrambling Record labels to expect non-reaction is bad gambling I know a few true, that'd make we – collusion El-P and J-Treds penetrate cranial intrusion [Verse 4: J-Treds] Enter this one time to catch it Two of the illest and unsigned Lethal separate, but combined Friction creates a frontline environment Got you stepping Trying to evade us busting caps in your thoughts But now crossfire-catching's added to your job skills Top of your resumé Submitted, applying for lyric positions that we occupied yesterday But got the pink slip, labels on some not-think shit Requiring brain absence lobotomy reigns rapids That trap gets full, by J and El evasion tactics Our equations infinite, punks are scored in random access Having half-words, recycling tracks like plastic – please forfeit Flipping the same script, I hope it has reinforcements Or else, it's torn to pieces while our thesis is untouched Saved on my PC under the filename of "Funcrush" Megabytes bumrush, by one punch, upon my keyboard Our data's the top secret that mad suckers will fiend for Comin' from the last two to be cut from Dream Team 3 We be the ones who shine, prepare for butt-kicking Rarely benchwarming, throwing down all too often While others barely touch rim, and that's when they're butt-licking [Outro: El-P as robotic commander] Done.  Job well done.  They know who we are.  They know we know who they are.  They will fall.  They are going to have to compete.  Understand. They will no longer monopolize.  Time-Warner will fall.  I'm proud of you.  Come home.