Personal

I used to pray beside my bed Like in a storybook, I knelt My heart was open wide Hopeful and terrified But slowly all those feelings died When all my little whispers They vanished into nothing Like reaching in your belly And coming out with stuffing I'm looking to the heavens And screaming, "Come and get me!" I could have been an angel Oh, if they'd only let me It's like a personal insult from God Don't you think it's mighty odd How every time I try for grace It blows up in my ugly face? A personal rejection man Guess I just don't fit the plan All despite my every plea He closed those pearly gates on me I went to worship in my teens I was the youngest in that hall I sat through hours of songs of praise "Lamb of Love" But still no signals from above So, I wandered all around and I'd visit holy places But all of them were hollow Not even any traces And that heart began to harden That hope is just a memory If I meet a true believer I will admit to envy Yeah, fuck the things you know And fuck who told you so It's a medieval a rumor And I lost my sense of humor 'Cause everything will rot Yeah, this is all you got Take care of yourself There ain't nobody else It's a personal insult from God Don't you think it's mighty odd Every time I try for grace It blows up in my ugly face? Personal rejection man Guess I just don't fit the plan All despite my every plea He slammed those pearly gates And this time it's personal Bodies in the river History in my hands I read the ancient books And I don't understand Dull words don't deliver In churches built on sand I'm barred from entry to the promised land This time it's personal It's like a personal insult from God Don't you think it's mighty odd Every time I try for grace It blows up in my ugly face? Personal rejection man Guess I just don't fit the plan All despite my every plea He closed those pearly gates on me Personally stole from him Feel his fingers digging in Choking out my spirit with a beatific grin And still so silent