Since Pac Died

[Intro] (J.U.S.T.I.C.E. League) Yeah Turn me down just a lil' bit Yeah [Verse] I ain't shed a tear since Pac died Don't know why it hit me when Pop died Brooklyn lost one, I don't even know the homie Still runnin' from my demons, there's an omen on me Like that time they tried to charge my first born with murder Got me callin' every lawyer that I ever heard of Oh, Lord, please, tell me what you see in me Teary-eyеd, they got my baby boy on TMZ Balled up in the bеd, feelin' like a failed father Then I tried to stand up and I fell farther Mama died and I didn't know how to grieve That's the last time that a nigga smoked some weed That 'za had me in my head, I might break for real Contract with the devil, I might sign a deal Oh, Lord, have mercy, I just wanna see her I'd trade places with her now, I just wanna be her All I seen in my face was a twenty-five She said, "Take your ass to school or you won't be alive" Swear that she hit me with my own hand What I'm sayin', my mama slapped like a grown man Baby raising babies, I forgive you, mama You had to clean them people's toilets, I was with you, mama Two bedroom trailer, I was so ashamed Had SpaghettiOs for dinner, all I taste is pain Single black mother, that's the reason, right? Meanwhile, I don't know if I can read or write Somebody pay the light bill, we gon' see tonight When your future gets dark, all you see is white I just tried and tried, but I never died Uncle Wade my best customer, he always fried When you asked me am I good, I just always lied Streets sucked my soul dry, that's why I'm always tired Served dope fiend Jackie, that's Tameka mama I should be ashamed, I'm part of Tameka's trauma Prettiest dark-skinned girl in the whole school Even brought my bomb to class, thought I was so cool I hope you're lovin' Heaven and you ain't embarrassed You can tell 'em that your baby boy's known in Paris Yeah, I know I made a mess, but I'ma clean it up Had to cut the fat from 'round me, had to lean it up Please send a sign if you hear me, mama Yeah, this lil' Jay, I'm hopin' you forgive me, mama By the way, I had a beef and shot at DJ Drama Apologized about it, yeah, I'm tryna keep the honor Same time healed, I'm tryna beat my trauma And be a natural-born leader until I see you, mama That was on my heart and I don't know why I'm puttin' on my shades, y'all gon' make me cry