Wheat Bread

March 20, 2016 Walkin' back from breakfast with Caroline and we stopped for iced tea A fan stopped me on Decatur and said that she recognised me I asked where she was from, she said "don't worry, not Planet Crazy" I said "then where are you from?", and she said "Denver, Colorado" I asked if she was involved with anyone and she said no I said "this side I've been playing Denver for over two decades And I've never met a person in my life from there who wasn't in a relationship" She said I was right, and that she moved there a few weeks ago And everyone she's met so far is coupled up and she's still getting to know Denver, Colorado I said "well, you're young", she said "not that young, I'm 31" I said "like I said, you're young" I introduced her to Caroline and she said she heard her name In a lot of my songs many times She was polite and kind and not intrusive I asked her what brought her to New Orleans and she said she was on a road trip and it was a good stop down from Texas I was just in Texas too, but I didn't mention it, I just said "oh, that's cool" Some good things come from Texas, like Daniel Johnston and the Butthole Surfers But the best thing to come out of Texas is Jack Johnson, the boxer No, not the surfer musician, I'm talking about the first black heavyweight champion The turn-of-the-century fighter who had more balls than China has plates More balls than me or you or anyone listening to this piece of music currently living in the United States When he went to Australia he didn't have the luxury of complaining that it took eighteen hours by flight He didn't even complain that by boat it took maybe sixty days and nights He fought his rounds, came back with the heavyweight title There's a great book on him by Teresa Runstedler And even an album dedicated to him by Miles Davis I'm just back from Texas where I played a South by Southwest showcase And here's what people said to me: "Hey Mark, did you hear that David Bowie liked your music?" "Hey Mark, how come you only get to play for 40 minutes?" "Hey Mark, I came all the way from Ireland" "Hey Mark, why is the show delayed two hours?" "Hey Mark, when is Universal Themes coming out on vinyl?" "Hey Mark, when is Jesu/Sun Kil Moon coming out on vinyl?" "Hey Mark, is Steve Shelley playing drums with you tonight?" "Hey Mark, how's South by Southwest treating you so far?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna be in Roadies?" "Hey Mark, when are you gonna play South Carolina?" "Hey Mark you were really good in Shopgirl, you friends with Jason Schwartzman? Did you get to meet Steve Martin?" "Hey Mark, when's your next movie?" "Hey Mark, what are you gonna do after the show?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna play Gustavo?" "Hey Mark, are you gonna play anything from Benji?" "Please play Carry Me Ohio, please?" "Here's a copy of my demo." Ask all the questions you want to, and I'll be polite But I'm thinking "fuck you" ninety percent of the time Not a harsh type of "fuck you" Just a light little "I-don't-wanna-talk-about-me-please-tell-me-a-little-about-you fuck you" But a drunk girl approached me said "Mark, I don't know you But you know me, I mean, you think you know me, you think you know me, I mean, you *think* you know me" I was like "hmm, what was that all about, she was original, that's for sure" There's some original shit that happens out there out in the rock 'n roll joint Like I was in bed with these two gothy girls once after a show in Florida When I got up to piss, I came back and they were putting their clothes on really fast, all nervous and freakin' out I was like "where are you going?" And they said "there are four of us in here" And I said "what are you talkin' about, four of us?" And they said "trust us, there are four of us in here, Mark, and we're leaving" I was standing there naked and they ran past me and opened the door and I was saying "where in the fuck are you guys going?" They rushed out and I was standing there, feeling very very alone and all shaken up Then I was lookin' under the bed, and in the shower And even out the window for this fourth person, and I didn't see anyone Those chicks scared the hell out of me 4 A.M., March 21st My stomach's been hurtin' From all the red meat in Texas, so tonight we went strictly vegan And we ate at a Vietnamese restaurant, down on Magazine And during our walk there a friend texted me He said "hey I'm in New Zealand", I said "hey I'm in New Orleans" And we started textin' like a couple of kids About making music together and the cost of touring And blah blah blah blah blah blah And starting boxing gyms But when I texted him a few days later And said that they were playing his music in a restaurant He didn't reply, he probably thought "fuck you" Not a harsh "fuck you", but the kinda "fuck you" I mentioned earlier He's like me, not one to bask in hearing about people hearing his music in a restaurant What do you even say to that? "Wow, man, cool, I love to hear about myself, send me some more" Some of us are in it for the ego stroke, and some of us are in this racket because it's in our blood and we have no choice Caroline and I came back and I took a hot bath and I worked on the credits for the *Sings Favorites* album March 27th, 2016 Seat 14D, United Airlines, Cleveland To SFO, we ate in Akron last night with my mother and her boyfriend and friends It was a very short trip to Ohio But overall peaceful, and I got to surprise a friend With a brand new TV and some money in the form of a cheque And though she was very tired I convinced her to take a walk around the block Which I think did her some good as she'd been so down on her luck But I did funny little dances in her living room to entertain her And played her some music from my *Sings Favorites* album, but she wasn't impressed She said "Mark, these songs sound too much like the originals" I said "That's the whole point, that it's for moms and dads and little kids and the whole family" And she said "Well, did you sing my favorite song "Float On" by Modest Mouse?" And I said I did, but she'd have to wait Her outlook on life seems to be getting bleaker and bleaker and bleaker and bleaker and bleaker I wanted to give her something to look forward to in the future Ben was nice enough to give us a ride to the Cleveland airport And do a quick photoshoot with me at the airport hotel And when we arrived at the Sheridan last night in Cleveland Because I needed a promotional photo for the *Sings Favorites* album Caroline and I fell asleep watching the movie Spotlight About lawsuits brought against the Catholic Church for priests molesting children It was an insightful movie about how a child can be manipulated Into being molested About how it can all start with a dirty joke And escalate into other things that I won't say I can't be a hundred percent sure, but I think I met a few child predators in my day Nothing I can quite bet a hundred percent on, but where, in my opinion, the writing was on the wallpaper I disassociate myself with people like that And I rank child molesters as the lowest form of humanity in the world Along with mass murderers and terrorists I'm not a perfect human, and I'm on no superiority trip But there's a disgusting side to humanity, and that movie And a few things I've seen in my life made me hate the fuckin' world Just for a little while Yeah, that's right, while I watched that movie I hated the fuckin' world Yeah, life can be tough, my friend isn't well She's downward mentally, spiritually and physically And I'm trying to do what I can to help My father made a comment, "accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative" I'm good at that, but there are negative forces out there that are hard to prevent They can sneak up on us out of nowhere It's hard to ignore that shit, how can we not care? I gotta ask you something, do you attract obsessives? I'm just curious, like when you have interactions with people Do they make mental notes, or even written notes of everything you say, I mean every little thing that you say? Maybe you know what I'm talking about here, and if you don't I mean this sincerely, enjoy that part of your life Do people discuss you as a human? Or do people discuss you as a product? I'm a human to most people who know me But I fall into the product category for the most part, a target I was born to be a product, yeah I'm used to that You wanna hate on me, then hate on me You got shit to throw at me, then throw it You wanna punch me in the face, I'm easy to find Throw the fuckin' punch, see if you can catch me Either way, I love you, I really do, I got a lotta love in my heart I got love for the haters, I even got love for the alligators Mmm, blackened alligator, oh man, it's the fuckin' best! This life's a racket where I trained to do what I've dreamed of since I was five For anything else, who knows, but maybe nine-to-five Ain't so bad, you get to come home every day to your wife And say "hey, did you see the news, Johnny Depp's having a hell of a time" 3-29-2016, 12:31 A.M I'm tired, I woke up at Caroline's and had trouble gettin' out of bed Thoughts of Ohio overwhelmed my head Thoughts of the walk to Caroline's place in Telegraph Hill To my place, at the top of Nob Hill Saddened me Paul Kantner won't be at Trieste any more And I dodged Caroline's old apartment which reminds me of when we first got together after I knocked on her door When I got up, made her bed, and headed up the hill Stopped at Molinari's at 11 A.M., and got the Joe's Special Fuckin' wheat bread, I fuckin' hate wheat bread Trust me, you'll be eatin' boring stuff too when you're pushing fifty unless you wanna be dead I came home to my apartment that hasn't been cleaned since last year I picked up some things, here and there A keyboardist's coming over tomorrow to rehearse for a summer tour I went to deposit cheques and the one from New York Looked like it'd been pulled out of a sewer The bank teller, she still accepted it A friend once told me that a cheque that I sent him disintegrated Because it was in his wallet too long, and I thought it was bullshit, and it made me laugh And fuck, here I was with a twelve thousand dollar cheque that was torn in half I couldn't stop thinkin' of my sick friend I was so distracted that I ended up leaving my wallet behind at the bank The security guard was chasing me and yellin' my name Was I being arrested for something? What could it be? My wallet was handed to me by a security guard Who didn't resemble any cast members of the Beverly Hillbillies, I'll just say that She had a really tough look, but she was polite And had a really nice smile once I got closer I ate ramen alone and on the way out the kid working there Asked me why I bought so many bottles of water I didn't want to explain to a millenial that I had a 12 hour rehearsal the next day as it would provoke more disingenuous questions The place had just opened and was clearly being told To be extra friendly to customers as some kind of shtick To bring in more business I'm gonna get my water elsewhere next time I came home and thoughts of Ohio were still bothering me So I created soap operas on my flip-phone with a few friends to distract myself Caroline and I met for Chinese but we took the night off from each other as I was so drained We slept at our own places The TV's on but it's turned down My apartment's a fuckin' mess I unfolded a piece of paper that's sat there forever And a pile of hotel and restaurant receipts from Europe and Asia It was a note from someone, something someone handed me on tour You wanna know what it said? Fuck you