I Almost Stole Some Weed from Todd Snider (Live)

I almost stole some weed from Todd Snider Everybody calm down I said almost Momma raised me right Didn't raise no criminal This road gets dark Makes a man cynical I almost stole some weed from Todd Snider It was December 2012 in Santa Cruz At the Catalyst nightclub I was in the backstage room I had done my duty Done my opening set Todd was on stage, he was rocking it I was all alone in the back I was eating some hummus and some chips When I saw a great big jar and I looked inside it It was full to the brim with marijuana Todd had so much, I had none I was faced with a moral dilemma Let me just tell you what an honor it is to open for Todd Snider In fact, I had done it once before Yeah but Todd and I didn't really hit it off And by that, I mean, we barely even talked I said, "Hey" He said, "Hey" I tried to say more but he walked away Now I know it's all business And I shouldn't take it personally But when I found out I was opening for Todd Snider I must admit I had constructed a little fantasy See there's a line from Todd Snider that stretches all the way back to Johnny Cash Oh one might even say that a torch has been passed Here's how it went down Johnny Cash was famous, Kris Kristofferson was not Kristofferson sang for Johnny then Kristofferson was hot John Prine was no one, Kristofferson heard him play Kristofferson gave him his blessing sent John Prine on his way Todd Snider opened for John Prine a few years ago He made John Prine laugh, John Prine made him a star And now I was going to meet Todd Snider Johnny Cash's initials are JC Mine are also JC Pass me the torch, the circle is complete Oh yeah, but Todd and I didn't really hit it off In fact, like I mentioned, we barely even talked So with all of this not meant to be I figured why not steal a little bit of his weed I walked toward the jar trembling Just then, Elvis walked in Not Elvis Presley; he's dead But Elvis was the name of Todd Snider's tour manager I turned around a little bit startled I said, "Hey" He said, "Hey" I said, "Do you want some hummus?" He said, "No thanks" He grabbed a few things and he walked out the door One of the things he grabbed was the weed jar That's how I almost stole some weed from Todd Snider I almost stole some weed from Todd Snider Momma raised me right Didn't raise no criminal This road gets dark Makes a man cynical And I almost stole some weed from Todd Snider Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me