Leave the Lights On

[Verse 1] Feeling kind of bony on the telephoney Talking to Marconi eating Rice-a-Roni Nominated for a Tony for acting like a phony Watching Twilight Zoney on my forty-two inch Sony [Refrain] This is just a long song, it ain't no poem Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home [Verse 2] It's like sitting in the kitchen when the music's really bitchin' Your nose, it starts to itchin' as you count your old age pension Did I forget to mention the ride that I was hitchin' To the Aluminum convention? I had such good intentions [Refrain] Keep your cotton pickin' fingers off my song poem And leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home [Chorus] Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Don't forget your toothbrush, your hairbrush and your comb Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Got a big ol' dog, a chrome crowbar I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car [Verse 2] Me and Billy Shakespeare stepped out to get a root beer We sat together so near, people thought we were queer Punctuated by the big scare, we joined the Air Force right there To defend our country first class who couldn't give a rat's ass [Refrain] Don't you tell me that the White House is my home Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home [Chorus] Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Don't forget your toothbrush, your hairbrush and your comb Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home Got a big ol' dog, a big iron bar I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car [Bridge] It's like kissing Greta Garbo with a mouth full of marbles Like trying to cash a paycheck in the middle of a train wreck Leave the lights on, leave the lights on Like trying to get aroundo in a car made of bondo Like speaking German lingo to a dog named Dingo, plotz Leave the lights on, leave the lights on Like a french fried quesadilla in a franchised pizzeria Leave the lights on, leave the lights on [Outro] A big iron bar I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car