Leave the Lights On

[Verse 1]

Feeling kind of bony on the telephoney

Talking to Marconi eating Rice-a-Roni

Nominated for a Tony for acting like a phony

Watching Twilight Zoney on my forty-two inch Sony

[Refrain]

This is just a long song, it ain't no poem

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

[Verse 2]

It's like sitting in the kitchen when the music's really bitchin'

Your nose, it starts to itchin' as you count your old age pension

Did I forget to mention the ride that I was hitchin'

To the Aluminum convention? I had such good intentions

[Refrain]

Keep your cotton pickin' fingers off my song poem

And leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

[Chorus]

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Don't forget your toothbrush, your hairbrush and your comb

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Got a big ol' dog, a chrome crowbar

I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car

[Verse 2]

Me and Billy Shakespeare stepped out to get a root beer

We sat together so near, people thought we were queer

Punctuated by the big scare, we joined the Air Force right there

To defend our country first class who couldn't give a rat's ass

[Refrain]

Don't you tell me that the White House is my home

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

[Chorus]

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Don't forget your toothbrush, your hairbrush and your comb

Leave the lights on 'til your baby gets home

Got a big ol' dog, a big iron bar

I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car

[Bridge]

It's like kissing Greta Garbo with a mouth full of marbles

Like trying to cash a paycheck in the middle of a train wreck

Leave the lights on, leave the lights on

Like trying to get aroundo in a car made of bondo

Like speaking German lingo to a dog named Dingo, plotz

Leave the lights on, leave the lights on

Like a french fried quesadilla in a franchised pizzeria

Leave the lights on, leave the lights on

[Outro]

A big iron bar

I keep that motherhumper in the back seat of my car