The O and the X

[Verse] I am the severed hand An object never found But often held as hollowed ground And used as truth Don't know where you stand So just keep searching for that hand Couldn't tell if this was planned But it felt overdue [Chorus] And I'm unraveling these cables Lost long landline in the whole Said we'd fuck just to get back at them Then we got back with them Then we never spoke again [Verse] There was another, said her lover Now her husband Pinned my picture to a dartboard I swear this is true And I don't know how I do it When your entourage all blew it But those pictures look like strangers When we're through [Chorus] And I'm unraveling these cables Lost long landline in the whole Said we'd fuck just to get back at them Then we got back with them Then we never spoke again [Instrumental] (sure) [Outro] You were a season with the wrong weather A steering wheel with weights tied to one side I asked you what the time was and you answered in another language You were always a familiar kind of foreign body A bed I had never slept in, but recognized the sheets That electricity of a stranger you have felt before on the same train A different room in the same skyscraper A proximity of intimacy despite the anonymity I look at you and remember every time I burnt my tongue on silence Every night I stayed awake worrying about why I couldn't fall asleep Every bookshelf left empty Every pinky left unbroken That was the day when I lost your name in my throat When every part of my bedroom ached When the windowsill became a road of ash-like gravel Our initials etched into the concrete That September, I remembered that you hated lavender I never asked why Assumed it was something about your grandparents And the couch that clutched you too close You were a season with the wrong weather I was searching for any voice that sounded like a hug But the grapes weren't the right shade of green The grass was too much like hands All hands were too much like yours It was a day when everything ached And my bedroom creaked within walls That screamed and screamed at someone else's silence When I filled the room with lavender And remembered why I love it