Breathe

[Intro: Kae Tempest] Can you drop the mic down a bit? Yeah [Verse: Kae Tempest & Alloysious Massaquoi] When I stand at the mic, the whole world I have known Is contained in the breath before speaking My life condensed to a sentence: I'm just tryna be someone the child I used to be could believe in Breathe in, odd kid getting even The evening's a dream that the morning can't sleep through A day in the life, or a life full of days I started to writе when my life was a maze I was lost in Looking for a way out of thе ways I didn't want But what you want isn't something you can choose It chooses you Take my body, take it all (What are you?) What are you? That was the question, but what was the answer? Tryna make sense was a senseless endeavour Head down, stick to the plan The plan was sit down with a pen in your hand What I found when I picked up the mic was profound New ground, the soundworld was basslines And sticking my head in the bassbins at raves was elation Saved by the act of creation Snatched from the jaws of destruction, the crossroad were clear Write or go under Yeah, it was messy for a minute The only thing that made sense was my lyrics And I was in the rave fighting demons When the boy got stabbed, started bleeding And I was so high that I couldn't even help him I just stared at the blood on my trainers for ages Sat down in the corner waiting for what? Once something's happened, you can't make it stop Five years later Alfie got shot in the stomach I should have been there but I wasn't What are you made of? How many selves do you carry? How many hells must a person inhabit Before they can see their life hangs in the balance? If you want it, eventually, you've got to make it happen Or it swallows you into its folds, a rogue planet exploding But on the outside I was nothing, too big for the city I lived in My spirit was hurting for something I couldn't determine My body was alien to me Persuaded myself that rhyming would lift me Out of the cage I was trapped in Back when I used to spit bars at the bus stop Cap down, hood up, clap twice, wake up Later stage-fright, shaking, taking Questions from someone from the paper When did I become a writer? I was just a drunk with a bag and a lighter You are what you do repeatedly You are who the people see, but I was shook When my friends were fucking girls I was sitting in the corner scribbling in my book Too stoned to get up, too scared to look at the mess of my heartscape Bright lights, dark place Thinking I'm gonna make it one day Hiding in plain sight, rhyming to take flight And leave my numbness behind Up there on the stage, wasn't bound by the same rules that drowned me The days poured down and the nights were loud Blink twice and the world disappeared Six weeks on the road and it's ringing in my ears Beers for fears, beers for tears for years And my body was made out of a million stars Everybody Down had dropped and everybody danced I was in the van on tour When my ex-wife said, "I can't do it anymore," And I never went home, just kept settling the score With a mic in my hand and a song to roar Dysphoria, didn't know the name or the symptoms Going through the motions tryna fit it all in I was touring three shows, tryna draft a novel Looking out the windows at the motorway How do I tell my story? It don't begin and end with me My story is my folks' folks coming into London looking for a way to be free My story is my sisters' kids with the listless edge I recognise Attention deficit, head in five thoughts at the same time I take my place in the long line of people whose voices Shake in my voice when I raise my voice to say my words Eighty thousand people in a field Holding up my mic like a shield Holding up my mic like a shield, it's real I used to be a boy when I was young Then I hit puberty, I had to be a girl I really, really tried to become Someone who belonged in the world And then it really started kicking off with work I was writing like I'd been desperate to do So many people couldn't live a dream Or live a minute without screaming For the troubles they were carrying within them And here I was travelling the world And being asked for my opinion But inside was a cavern bigger than the Solar System I was different, I could feel it, I was different It was killing every sensation, it was hidden It was taking up too much room It was gripping my windpipe and stopping my words I was on stage giving people my heart But my heart wasn't even concerned My heart was alone in the dark of my ribs Tryna talk me into doing what eventually I did What's the story here? Live your fucking life because No one's gonna know if you kept it all inside When you lose the will to go another day, another night Everything has changed And everyone I am is everyone I'm made of And everyone I'm made of is everyone I've loved And everyone I've loved is everyone I judged Like they weren't going to love me if they knew what I was But what was I? Neither and both, getting closer to myself and time Now I've finally spoken my mind and the child I was Sitting there writing rhymes to eternity Can put down their pen and believe in me The child I was writing rhymes to eternity Put down their pen and believe, breathe [Outro: Alloysious Massaquoi & Graham Hastings] Take my body, take it all There's nobody you can call Take my body, take it all Ain't nobody you can call Oh, oh, oh Frame me in forever Ten times the weight of pleasure