I Trap You

Love is a self-made thing I am free I stare at the air and I see patterns And your name is a song in my chest The taste is metallic How many billions walk this planet? I feel them, I feel them! You show me my mass Love is an endless sky An endless cliché that imagines itself to be deep revelation An open face, an open palm, an open plain All open The more that we close it, the less that we know it And just 'cause I know it Don't mean I know how to show it They're taking everything from us and Telling us nothing is ours, but here we are, dancing You make me a microscope You make me a map I called it love I should have called it "trap" I trap you! I should have said tenderly At the end of a long day While we kept each other Desperately stagnant I trap you so much! Yes, I want you to be happy But don't threaten my happiness Can't you see I'm walking this threadbare tightrope? Made out of dental floss stitched Together with strands of tobacco and dog hair And it stretches between two precious fantasies, my fantasy of me And my fantasy of you And beneath, in raging red chopped razor toothed states of fury Are all my insecurities And all the little lies I like to tell myself And every other reason that I can't see the truth "I trap you so much!" I should have whispered in your ear as we fell asleep Bodies unbound, sheets soaked Hearts hammering If I see it clear, will it stay clear? Will it be clear when you're here? I don't want fear, I don't want greed I want freedom, I want to be freed I want you to be freed, I want to nourish I don't want to feed like some ravenous mouth With no guts, only greed Endless appetite, need, need, need You can't free me, I free me, I breathe If I am in pieces, is it easier to see? I think I am whole now I think I am more whole But I still check my phone 17 times a minute To see if you called and I missed it Trap Love is a self-made thing Love is a self-made Trap