You Ascendant

I had visions of you wandering alone Daylight bursts against printed flowers on your dress And the sun in your hair, silver white I watched you walk purposefully along the shoulder of the highway Indifferent to traffic and it to you, as if neither existed Alone there like all of us And the summer colors shone bright Open fields of goldenrod The sky a soft stone Sapphire and selenite Agate, blue lace And a pale white bone and brush All things to dust return But you keep on Heading westward quick down Fulton street As everything beyond compelled you Walk now there and you could not take your eyes away from it And I could not either Quickening your pace Walking in the wind blown backwards towards home Your face expressionless You stop suddenly still as carved stone Waiting for the world to catch up And I watched you in awe always even in dreams You raised your arms A cross shaped like a monument Feeling permanence there And denying her death and yours And traffic stopped to watch I knew you'd leave then Ascending heavenward to breathe Never in panic again Peace for you forever somewhere I carried on in my visions Tired and lost for years this way Only half-aware of the light Shining against the dark Bright until we die When I die, let me do so beside you When we die, let us go at the same time When the end comes will we see Bright lights burst through the evergreens Feel the blown sand at our ankles Or hear rustling needles in the breeze? Who could know? If we could choose the way we leave Fill out circles on a ballot sheet Vote the way we'll go All the noise will cease finally and forever for us both What would we do? How would we go? Would we pass out In barracks beneath bed sheets? Brand new sneakers on our feet Two by two into a common tale Peacefully to sleep, forever dream? When will we leave? Will we all just disappear? Or can we be hung up in a gallery Displayed permanently Forever with family and painted in frames Variations on a theme? How will we leave? Cut in frieze Displayed in glass cases Death on the mind of living things Can it be quietly? Like in the morning Drinking coffee with the sunrise Below the leaves in the window of our bedroom To the garden or just drift off watching TV 6:30 in the evening Never see it coming at all Or can we live forever here? Be buried in our best memories Drunk beside that drainage ditch Our road trip East of Denver maybe Prison in periphery, life too beautiful Too sweet despite everything Could we choose to stay forever there and never leave? How long do I have to fix it? The years lost too indifferent, afraid Or you'll burst to earth around me Like lightning at night How'd I miss a thing so bright And where does the shame come now if never away? No one to blame but me, I wanted everything How'd I fail so badly? I had visions of you wandering all alone down every city street Light shaded everything at once and flower burst against your knees And you asked for me to leave Graceful in your sprinting now through the wind Your skin pale silver lightning The seasons of your grief But you are free now And you asked for me to leave I loved you deeply then and now as ever Never waver once again at all in any timeline I will bend them all to find you back to breathe And you asked for me to leave I will wrench you from those dreams Release the flowers in the street Burn the monuments in plywood and ascend them To be me everything you need I will be everything you need I will be everything you need I will be everything you need