Spoons

[Verse 1] 'Cos I one, one-nil That's what you get, when you go out Surely there's a better use for a telly than this Projecting the world's most un-spirational energy With me, the target they have missed What a fabulous establishment Endorsed by the BBC [Chorus] 'Cos I one, one-nil With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill 'Cos I one, one-nil Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings [Verse 2] I've got the gift of the gab I am the king of the riff-raff Here you are girl, come and sit on my lap I can be a single malt, barrel of laughs My chavvy mates call you a sort But they mean no harm And they appreciate art I'll have you know I'll inundate you with clothes from charity shops Fake verbs for scarfs and rebustify your heart Forgive me for not asking what you do But your eyes remind me of a pitcher of Woo Woo You'll do! [Chorus] 'Cos I one, one-nil With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill 'Cos I one, one-nil Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings [Verse 3] A centre for the AA elderly by day Blossoms to a youthful fountain by night People come from towns far away To blend, breed and some fight A shell of a former listed building With decor that lacks decorum Within hosts intoxication in a debaucherous fashion Forgive us fallout For you girl I'd hold my tongue in the queue The night is still young You seem really, really, really nice Cheap dates at Yates are not a scratch on this gaff Minesweeping your drinks and that [Chorus] 'Cos I one, one-nil With this prick of a telly while I'm sitting in Spoons feeling sick at the thought of a large mixed grill 'Cos I one, one-nil Emptying my pockets but the room's still spinning Lend me a quid and we'll take home the winnings