[Verse: MF DOOM, Michael Douglas, Reuben Collins & Karl Malden]
There's only one beer left
Rappers screaming all in our ears like we're deaf
Tempt me, do a number on the label
(*Phone ringing*)
Eat up all they emcees and drink 'em under the table
Like, "It's on me, put it on my tab, kid"
However you get there, foot it, cab it, iron-horse it
("Yes")
You're leaving on your face, forfeit
I crush the mic, hold it like the heat, he might toss it
Told him tell 'em they stole it, he told her he lost it
("Tanner's got the info from R and I")
She told him, "Get off it", and a bunch of other more shit
Getting money, DT's be getting no new leads
It's like he eating watermelon: stay spitting new seeds
("That's what he told us")
It's the weed, give me some of what he drooping off
Soon as he wake up, choking like it was whooping cough
("Yeah, why?")
They group been soft
First hour at the open bar and they're trooping off
("You're kidding")
He went to go laugh and get some head by the side road
She asked him autograph her derriere, it read: "To Wide Load
("Unh-unh. I checked back—")
This yard bird taste like fried toad turd
("Did you check the, uh, the national re—")
Love, Villain"—take pride in code words
("Yeah, called Chicago")
Crooked eye mode, nerd, geek with a cold heart
Probably still be speaking in rhymes as an old fart
("The AMA headquart—")
Study how to eat to die by the pizza guy
No, he's not too fly to skeet in a skeezer eye
And squeeze her thigh, maybe give her curves a feel
The same way she feel it when he flow with nerves of steel
("There's no listing of—")
They call the super when they need their back, uh, plumbing fixed
"How is only one left? The pack comes in six!
("Is he sure?")
Whatever happened to two and three?"
A herb tried to slide with four and five
And got caught like, "What you doing, G?
("I heard that")
Don't make 'em have to get cutting like truancy
Matter fact, not for nothing, right now, you and me!"
("Tell the lieutenant, it's been checked and double-checked")
Looser than a pair of Adidas
I hope you brought your spare tweeters
MCs sound like cheerleaders
Rapping and dancing like Red Head Kingpin
DOOM came to do the thing again, no matter who be blingin'
("Positive—")
[Outro: Karl Malden & Michael Douglas]
"You were right about the edges
Beveled, pretty sharp
"Hey, what about this?"
"Right size, maybe, but, uh
Tell me, how would she end up in the tub?"
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