Smiling Upside Down

Six in the morning, I chew my lips, slipping a pill, but I get no sleep Grief is my sickness, I'm calling sick, me and my mind playing on repeat Every day, new guy, new bar, new drink New drug, new story, new line, new prey You left so early, you killed our dreams I cry new tears that I feel the same Miss you, I miss you, I live in hell Passed out on the pillow that has your smell While everybody says you're in a better place I'm just dreaming of ways I could join you there Give mе just one sign, let me know onе time Am I just talking to myself? Are you with Gandhi, Bowie, mom? Are you okay? You ask me why (Why) I'm always smiling upside down (Down) Told you when I'm happy, it burns Been staring at the sun (At the sun) Too long, staring at the sun I don't know why Glitching and itching, I'm tripping out So mad I could kill you for checking out Ghosting and cursing me every night You're bitching and preaching me like (Me like) Get off the booze, get off the drugs Get off the meds, get out the club Get on, get up, move out the crib Get off the guys, get on your feet (Move on) Move on it's time Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me (Why?) Fuck you very, very much Trying to boss me around When you're cozy and sound Boy, you left me to drown To swim with all of the sharks 'Cause it's a fucked up world No one to trust No peace, no pension, no fun And I refuse all joy and love So should I use a pill or a gun You ask me why (Why?) I'm always smiling upside down (Down) Told you when I'm happy, it burns Been staring at the sun (At the sun) Too long, staring at the sun You ask me why I'm always smiling upside down Told you when I'm happy, it burns Been staring at the sun Too long, staring at the sun And I don't know why Eight in the morning, I chew my lips, feel like I'll never fall asleep There's a guy in bed, right next to me Who the hell am I? Who the fuck is he? And the sun is out, can't move my feet And me and my mind playing on repeat