Thirsty Ego Raps

[Hook: Open Mike Eagle] It's the return of the curmudgeon We're all thirty-first cousins Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't The thirst kills Thirst murders universal will I'll be having to tell myself chill [Bridge: Open Mike Eagle] That's just my ego talking Thinks he's super hero awesome Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything That's just my ego talking Thinks he's super hero awesome Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything [Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle] My man Dave Gahan is in Depeche Mode Used to have a crush on Michel'le from Death Row This business is pop charts and who gets the top part I still be wanting to mention Calista Flockhart And Jonathan Lipnicki Madonna there's room on the ottoman sit with me Bring me coconut water to swallow with this whiskey Let's talk about the nada this positive shit gets me Hmm, this is my emotional ape face I'm president of the rappers that don't condone date rape I should eat rice cakes and drink water fools And learn to do yoga and vibrate my molecules It's harder than finding coal in a seafloor Or feeding four people through the hole in a screen door Shout out to first dude who pissed in the wind before And went in the woods despite the myth of the Wendigo I really wanna dress like Sun Ra I'm Mumm-ra in a dumb bra stalking the jungles of Punjab My nickname is Lord Bravery On voice memos that I tape record lazily Yeah, they be hatin' his brain Cause they move with dumb words like ancient doorways can be And thoughts that I'm great can pour limitless I'm pretty sure I self-deprecate for your benefit [Hook: Open Mike Eagle] It's the return of the curmudgeon We're all thirty-first cousins Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't The thirst kills Thirst murders universal will I'll be having to tell myself chill It's the return of the curmudgeon We're all thirty-first cousins Remind myself, cause the thirst doesn't The thirst kills Thirst murders universal will I'll be having to tell myself chill [Bridge: Open Mike Eagle] That's just my ego talking Thinks he's super hero awesome Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything That's just my ego talking Thinks he's super hero awesome Big Chief, captain, president, and chairman over everything [Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle] Trying not to have missteps in my catalog Like Scott Hall burning Goldberg with a cattle prod Analog Eagle, Joe Walsh bandanna on Tag along here Dear, next stop Babylon We can yell "Eye of the tiger" if he sees gazelle Popular rap tropes he chose via Speak N' Spell [Outro: MC Paul Barman] Check this out y'all, it's the paradox of being special: Glowing so hard it's embarrassing in the workplace Expected on the stage to the point that you don't even need the spotlight You see the curtain rises on freaks, suits and ties on their seats Expect performer back to normal by workin'-week start We heart street smart, mnemonics for life Canonical phrases, economically stated, raised to your conscience and gone quick