Good Girl

Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to And if you call me good girl One more time Then my fist will meet your skull I sometimes walk naked A child in the garden And I pretend that there is no other way Despite the distant shadow of incredulous laughter Echoing as if I should know why it’s there But I like the feeling I’m at the beginning of time And no thoughts of who I am Have entered my mind I bend over the river and Catch a glimpse of Something that’s none of my business As I scoop some up to drink I disperse whatever it was And you can scream at me all you want That the greatest love affair is with myself That it should be passionate Unwavering No shadow of a doubt that I am In love with my body! And my body is in love with me! But I am not The water is not in love With the cup that I drink from Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to And if you call me good girl One more time Then my fist will meet your skull For god’s sake! How can I even begin To clean up the mess of this relationship With my body That third eye turned inwards on me Running as if in a dream Getting out and wading back in Through the quagmire of who I might be Balancing this scaffolding of skin And I grieve it I grieve the world where I am A child in the garden Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to And if you call me good girl One more time Then my fist will meet your skull Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to And if you call me good girl One more time Then I will break your nose And I say it to myself “Somebody’s got to” And I repeat it in my teeth “Somebody’s got to” Cut free and let the soft down grow on you Never let the tide be one more drop full Go under the knife, make a new normal Or die gnarled and happy, an old animal I’d gnaw off my leg to escape it all Let time take me Weather like the tree How clever to make A girl’s own face the enemy In the half-light She’ll agonise To be evergreen A “Good girl, always look and never be” Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to If you call me good girl One more time Then my fist will meet your skull Heaven is a fed girl Somebody’s got to Somebody’s got to And if you call me good girl One more time Then I will break your nose