My Next Record

My next record makes no mention of champagne, strippers, or haters. It will not compare rap to crack. There will be no stories of me being caught cheating. I've never sold a drug. I will not refer to any jail time for the purpose of credibility on the mic because I was never locked up. My next record will not only speak of mistakes I've made in the past tense. Although I have been redeemed, I am far from perfect. My next record will not speak of money in any way, shape, or form greater than a means to an end. I will not speak of women in terms of their parts. I will not exalt hip-hop as the answer to all of societal woes. I will not constantly tell you how dope I am. My hope is it will be painfully obvious. My next record will not melt your face off literally, but figuratively. It will be biblically sound and awkwardly awesome. People who disagree with its worldview will like it. People who don't like hip-hop will like it. It will offend you. It might inspire you. My next record will not sound like or outsell Lecrae's record, Drake's record, J. Cole's, or Wiz Khalifa's. I will not say crunk or swag at any point. My daughter will love it yet still like Miley Cyrus more. I will pray she grows out of that stage quickly. My album will make the headliner uncomfortable. There will be battle raps, apologetics, and exegesis. There will be references you won't get if you've never read a Bible or lived on the West Coast, specifically Los Angeles. Or West Covina. There will be no profanity but a lot of big words, multiple word plays, and political statements that black people normally don't make. It will honor my people's achievements and ridicule our ridiculous glorification of pimps and obsession with ignorance. It will attack black church practices that are clearly unbiblical and poke fun at activists that only rep at poetry venues and backpackers whose sole purpose is to prove they are the most underground. My next record will not change the world, but it will touch it. My next record will be thoroughly and consistently, with all my ability -- so help me Lord -- excellent.