Ned Nostril (And His South Seas Paradise, Puts Your Blues On Ice, Cheap At Twice The Price Band - Ikky-Ikky, Ukky-Ukky)

Well even when Ned was a little-bitty baby his nose covered most of his face And as he grew into manhood, it spread out all over the place His heroes were Karl Malden, Jimmy Durante, and Pinocchio And all of his friends used to wonder just how big it was gonna grow (Hmm-mm-mm-mm) Well growin' up was a problem for Ned, he tried sports but he couldn't make it On the football field the other team used to kick his nose and try to take it Basketball games were always the same: Ned always felt inhibited When the referee blew the whistle, and called him down for double-dribblin' (Hmm-mm-mm-mm) Well, then Ned had a brainstorm: he'd be a music man So he rounded up his buddies, and he started a little band Now it's hard getting' bookin's when you're virtually new and unknown But Ned had a plan, and a name for the band, and a sound all their own (Hmm-mm-mm-mm) You see Ned and the boys would sniff ragweed till their allergies were screamin' Then they'd harmonize with watery eyes and sinuses a streamin' And Ned took his liability; figured out how to turn it around They wore Hawaiian clothes, and Ned played his nose and that was their sound So if you wanna hear some wheezin', and sneezing, and blowin', and goin' that's grand Go hear Ned Nostril and his South Seas Paradise Put your blues on ice Cheap at twice the price band (icky, icky, yucky, yuck) They're the best in the land (icky, icky, yucky, yuck) Booked solid and in demand (icky, icky, yucky, yucky, icky, icky, yucky, yuck) Ned tried to play the guitar, but his nose covered most of the chords He tried to play the piano, but he couldn't see the keyboard He tried to play the drums some, but his nose stuck to far out And he couldn't play a horn, 'cause he couldn't get the darn thing up to his mouth So if you wanna hear some wheezin', and sneezing, and blowin', and goin' that's grand Go hear Ned Nostril and his South Seas Paradise Put your blues on ice Cheap at twice the price band (icky, icky, yucky, yuck) They're the best in the land (icky, icky, yucky, yuck) Booked solid and in demand (icky, icky, yucky, yucky, icky, icky, yucky, yuck)