We Are the Government

Who is it? Candy Gram Go away, I saw that on Saturday Night Live Who is it? Santa Claus Come on, it's not even Christmas Who is it? Easter Bunny How dumb do you think I am? Who is it? Stimulus check Stimulus check? Why didn't you say so? We are the government We're here to help you We are the government We'll tell you what to do We'll show you how to live your life Raise your kids and treat your wife We are the government And we're here to help you We are the government Your money belongs to us We are the government And when we tax you, please don't fuss You'll see the benefit someday And besides it's ours anyway We are the government Your money belongs to us We are the government We'll tell you what to eat We are the government And you must avoid red meat It's bad for your heart Bad for your waist In time you'll love how tofu tastes We are the government And we'll tell you what to eat There's a vicious rumor floating around That we all work for you But the government doesn't work at all So how can that be true? We are the government The election is our home And for that we'll sell our soul We have limousines and jets We spread the wealth, you absorb the debt We are the government And we know what's best for you We are the government Your healthcare's in our hands You might have heard we've started what we call the Kevorkian Clan Don't smoke, don't drink, and don't get sick Because if you do, you'll die real quick We are the government And your healthcare's in our hands Now this is a free country You can eat hamburgers galore But of course we can't provide your health insurance, anymore, ha ha We are the government Obey our laws you must We are the government But the laws are not for us You have the healthcare plan we say, but you can't expect us to live that way Because we are the government And the laws are not for us I'm hungry! Hungry? What happened to your gruel? Have you already eaten your gruel? You only get one bowl a day you know, you don't want to get fat! I'm cold! I need a coat! Cold? No coats! Haven't you heard of global warming? Be patient! I'm bleeding! I had an accident An accident? Well, what did you do with your Band-Aid? We gave you one last year!