[Intro]
But I was dead for a while (Mmm)
Literally and they brought me back
I was gone, man, so
I put that every second, every minute
Spendin' all my time
Hiding in my mind
Fighting all these thoughts
They hold me down
Uh
[Verse]
Before I had the cake, they deserted me
But now the Porsche is 911, it's an emergency
I do not accept apologies, you did it purposely
If I say, "Fuck you," it's fuck you for all eternity
I used to shop at Angel Views livin' with a broken wing
Sleepin' at a minimum 'cause all I had was broken dreams
Used to sell work, it hit different when you know the fiends
Growin' up, we never did ballet, but we was holdin' beams
Hopped off the same porch I used to wait for my dad
Said I hope nobody see through the mask
So tryin' to forgive that nigga is a difficult task
Can't follow in his footsteps 'cause we on two different paths
Damn, Ma, I can't believe that you passed
Love your people while they here, the streets takin' 'em fast
Water off and I can't even give my baby a bath
I got fifteen minutes of fame, so I'm makin' it last
I used to eat the ramen noodles out the butter bowl
Heatin' up the house, don't let that oven close
I put on my grown man shoes, and I still could never trust a soul
Mama workin' doubles while I'm tryna chase the motherload
Had close kin try to cross me, they born fake, I grew up with 'em
Watchin' Rugrats on the orange tape
Lookin' back, nobody showed up to my court dates
They eyes on the bread, see biscuits like a horse race
WIC vouchers used to pay for Kix and the Corn Flakes
Strong people break too, we just rebuild quietly
It's probably 'cause we scared of bein' judged by society
EDD scams brought my niggas out of poverty
And battling yourself ain't a fair fight
In my darkest days with nobody there to shed light
Worked the corner, bakin' soda, beat it like it's egg whites
Now it's Ws like the beginnin' of a website
I just lost my grandpa, I know he in the sky
Man, that nigga like my daddy, glad I got to say goodbye
Had deep convos with him right before he fuckin' died
And I know it fucked him up 'cause I ain't never seen him cry
He ain't wanna go to sleep 'cause he knew death was doomed to arrive
He knew death was in the air and that's somethin' you can't deny
He said, "You finna go to Hollywood," and I said, "I'ma try"
Now I'm feelin' crossed over 'cause he on the other side
They use crates for entertainment, mine's for holdin' up the bed
Ain't gotta tell you why I cut you off, you know what you said
And if you focus on your past, then you won't get ahead
They found Deandre with a hole in his head
I'm James Harden of my family, nigga, look at all the shit I carry
Now I'm finally buzzin' like a haircut in the military
Standin' on my words, I put my foot on top of dictionaries
When I lived on Cherry, it was easier than pickin' cherries
I never asked Him for nothin', Lord knows I'm bad with a compass
Found myself on a path to the cheese and my craft got adjusted
Blew up in they face, I mastered eruptions
We throwin' hints, I'm passin' discussion
Fuck my ex, she the last one I'm trustin'
Used to live baggy and busted, chain was ashy and rusted
Now it's like a family reunion, I got so many cousins
Flow nasty as hummus, I gotta wave like the taxi is comin'
Wait, hold up, that's the taxi, it's comin'
King Arthur strong as hell, but I ain't carryin' no dead weight
I can't let nobody live rent-free inside my headspace
It's hard to digest, seen my nigga lose a fed case
Paddington where we was robbin' houses with the bare face
Yeah, the house is burnin', can't believe I went on tour
Yeah, my feelings might be tainted, but my energy is pure
76 and Hoover Street where we was sleepin' on the floor
Brought some battles with myself, but in the end, I won the war
It's Vaughn
[Outro]
I should've stayed strangers to a lot of motherfuckers
It just taught me anybody could switch up no matter the history or bond
Shit, I even switched up on myself, I had to catch myself
Fuck is you doin'?
Yeah
Spendin' all my time
Hiding in my mind
Fighting all these thoughts
They hold me down
