When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out It hurts so much To think of this So from my thoughts I will exclude The very thing that I hate more than Everything is The way I'm powerless To dictate my own moods I've thrown away So many things That could've been much more And i just pray My problems go away If they're ignored But that's not the way it works No that's not the way it works When i go down I go down hard And i take everything i've learned And teach myself some disregard When i go down It hurts to hit the bottom And of the things that got me there I think, if only i had fought them If and when i can Clear myself of this clouded mind I'll watch myself settle down Into a place where peace Can search me out and find That I'm so ready to be found I've thrown away The hope i had in friendships I've thrown away So many things that could Have been much more I've thrown away The secret to find an end to this And i just pray My problems go away If they're ignored But that's not the way it works No that's not the way it works When i go down I go down hard And i take everything i've learned And teach myself some disregard When i go down It hurts to hit the bottom And of the things that got me there I think, if only i had fought them Any control I thought i had Just slips right through my hands While my ever-present conscience Shakes it's head and reprimands me Reprimands me Then and there I confess I'll blame all this on my selfishness Yet you love me And that consumes me And I'll stand up again And do so willingly You give me hope, And hope it gives me life You touch my heavy heart, And when you do you make it light As I exhale I hear your voice And I answer you, Though I hardly make a noise And from my lips The words I choose to say Seem pathetic, But it's a fallen man's praise Because I love you Oh God, I love you And life is now worth living If only because of you And when they say that I am dead and gone It won't be further from the truth When I go Down I lift my eyes to you I won't look very far 'Cause you'll be there With open arms To lift me up again To lift me up again