[Intro]
Hello!
I'm the Minimum Wage Fairy
And I'm here to tell you a story about the lonely Gingerbread Man
The lonely Gingerbread Man flies high in the sky
With only hatred as the apple in his eyes
A hatred so severe it rots him to the bone
"Why do I always get a fucking deck chair?
Why can't I have a throne?"
Now, now, Mr. Gingerbread Man, don't you cry
Why have a throne down here?
You have one in the sky...
UK dogs!
[Chorus]
What ya havin' an EP launch for?
Useless prick
I donе three albums in eight months
I don't fuckin' brag about it
[Verse 1]
I fuckin' shop old coffee, eat dry porridge
And shit on thе street
I got a high metabolism
I shit about eighty five times a week
I loop guitars
'Cause this is life in bars on Mars
The mod that fell to Earth
Well, it was a fucking case of having to, weren't it?
Jason Tommy Williamson
Has put the mug back into mod
And it's free of charge
For all you zombies to listen to
Mod is once again a definite
And vital English invention
I've reinvented the code of dress
And I've reinvented the fucking groove, thank you
Now if you'll kindly let me and my family live in peace
Please respect our privacy as valid fucking human beings
[Chorus]
What ya havin' an EP launch for?
Useless prick
I done three albums in eight months
I don't fuckin' brag about it
[Verse 2]
I’ll have that bird down in the fleece with the big eyes
The one with the scarlet hair
Can I have two pints of Carling, please? One for yourself, mate
And do you fancy a drink sometime? "Yeah!"
I got a big cock, it's a bloody python
Take A&E a year to fucking siphon the semen outta ya
Birds walkin' around lookin' like a fuckin' fish finger
Finger ya, splitter, bird's eye mascot
Don't want a lot, do ya? Not really
Sick of these rock 'n' roll bores
"I gave my life to rock 'n' roll"? You're a liar!
You drive 'round in a Range Rover, don't ya?
Splitter, splitters
I got mates who were raped by their mums, dads, brothers, and sisters
They don't give a shit, just get on with it
Few drugs at the weekend and shit, just get on with it
"I gave my life to rock 'n' roll"? You're a liar!
Your bum's on fire, liar!
Get back in ya fucking Range Rover
[Chorus]
What ya havin' an EP launch for?
Ya clueless prick
I done three albums in eight months
I don't fuckin' brag about it
[Verse 3]
I slave away on a King's Cross night train
Insane in the brain
I drank so much I can't even remember
Throwing my guts up outside the massage parlor
Fifteen pound entry fee, choice of nine girls
I just grabbed hold of the nearest fucking one
Nicely a lass, nice heels on
I'm not allowed to kiss her, but I'm allowed to fuck her up the shitter
Lonely shitters, lonely East London shitters
I want some company, not a fucking rape victim
Lemme kiss ya! "What?"
Lemme kiss ya! "What?"
Lemme kiss ya!
Yeah, fucking... fuck off then!
[Chorus]
What ya havin' an EP launch for?
Useless prick
I done three albums in eight months
I don't fuckin' brag about it
[Verse 4]
The four dots, all coppers are bastards
Don't talk fucking wet!
I'd much rather get fined eighty pound for pissing on the street
Than have a complete state of fucking chaos and shit
People need controlling, most people are fucking thick
People need telling what to do
That's why Lily Allen's so big, fat bitch
Fat fucking bitch
[Outro]
Fat fucking bitch
Fat fucking bitch
Fat fucking bitch
Fat fucking bitch