Chop Chop Chop

[Intro] Chop, chop, chop The demise of Planet X Fucking bummers! [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties [Verse 1] I followed her upstairs Said a few nice words to her Then dragged her into what looked to be a stockroom Situated next to the girls' toilets I picked her up And placed her on top of two crates of champagne Unbuttoned her dress And got down to some real Southampton She said she couldn't give up on old habits Meaning me, which I thought was sweet But the last time I got off with her was about ten years ago You need to get out of it more, darling [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties [Verse 2] I asked the porn star if he was still doing films, he said yeah And if I was interested in raping young girls on a fortnightly basis Then I should send him a few naked photos to his email address [email protected] So I went into the loo, got my phone out And took a picture of the large shit falling out of my hairy fucking arse I wiped my arse And sprinkled the last few crumbs of stone into a roll up I walked up to the [?], lit it up What's he gonna fucking do? Fucking beetroot head! I walked back into the club, few knobs I seen the porn star dancing, I walked up to him I slammed my phone right in his face "Here's the fucking photograph you wanted, ya fucking rapist!" [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties [Verse 3] She insists I go meet her family for Christmas At some crap twenty first in some shit club So I went - it was terrible Bunch of thick bastards eating cheap party food She's bantin' around, flirting with everybody Jigging her knobbly knees to Jay-Z and Beyonce Disgusting fucking behavior! I gotta drive I’m eight times over the fucking limit (Nee naw, nee naw!) I'm having to buy her dad drinks - that pissed me off I bumped into some piece of wood at the bar Boring me shitless With news that he works as a personal trainer His ugly fucking mate stood there, grinning at me If there's one thing I regret about that night It's missing the opportunity at filling that cunt's fucking face in [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties Skip... I got him. I need you to come pick me up, alright? I got bit by a fuckin' diseased dog, goddamnit! [Verse 4] I pick her up, she's got a kid She sits in the front with her kid The coppers stop us, I can't be arsed with it We pick her kiddie chair up from her ex-husband's He piles outside the house, screaming Scabs all over his fucking face I can't be arsed with it I put the kid in the back, tell it to fucking stop crying I put some hip hop on, the kid stops crying - weird We drive, meet the geezer He's horrible, horrible and hungry We have to go to McDonald's I waste half my burger 'cause his breath fucking stinks He got rumbled two nights ago So we have to drive an extra ten miles to [?] I drop him off, do a U turn Wait five minutes and drive back He's lost half of it I do another U turn He's doing his nut, I want to hit the cunt He gets out, he finds it, the kid's screaming Eight ounces of flat crack A fucking lorry's driven over it This is fucking unbelievable! We drive, we stop Chop, chop, chop A mini orgy in the back of the car, the kid's screaming Five different pairs of hands inside the bitch's bra Bitches' Brew... bitch's bra, why not? [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties [Bridge] The north won't let me go Fucking north won't let me go, oi! The north won't let me go, one on! The north won't let me go [Chorus] People, places, parties People, places, parties You don't wanna get me started People, places, parties Yeah!